A Theory on Godhood: An Overlord Story

Chapter 2: Old Worlds Die Hard

Ulbert spied Touch Me directly to Momonga's right, as Nishikienrai, the half-golem ninja, slid into the seat to the right of the paladin. All of them gradually filled their seats, striking up conversations to those closest to them, with only two chairs remaining empty. The cephalopod chefs stirred, swinging their tentacles to just barely brush the foreheads of each supreme being. They paused at the two unoccupied chairs, the name tags reading "Tabula" and "Bellriver" respectively, before moving on and hopping over the table top to go to the kitchens.

Ulbert touched the spot where the tentacle had been, feeling disgusted at the cold and moist sensation of the chefs. Never again, He decided, before looking over to Momonga.

"Any idea when Tabula will be back?" Ulbert asked, trying to test the waters.

Momonga could only shrug. "He'll cool off and join us when he's decided he doesn't want to be angry anymore. Knowing the NPCs are sentient is hard enough, but knowing your own is in love with one of your friends probably fried his mind."

Ulbert felt one of his signature evil grins coming on at that. "It was still all in good fun! It's not like we really did anything damaging to his 'precious' NPC. He was right, maybe this way you can actually get laid," Ulbert said, waggling his eyebrows at the lich.

Momonga gave him a deadpan stare. "I'm a skeleton."

"Okay. And?"

"That probably means I don't have a di-"

"Details! Details," Ulbert said, waving off his friend's arguments, chuckling. His mirth persisted until Touch Me spoke up.

"Momonga's right though. If it hadn't been for you four, he wouldn't even need to worry about a lack of a dick, or Albedo for that matter. Tabula definitely wouldn't have tried to choke you out."

Ulbert's joyful mood soured at that moment, as he turned to look Touch Me in the eye. "So? She's still the same overall. So what if she's not a slut anymore, it's not like she was getting it on with anyone beforehand."

Touch Me flared up, his faceted eyes darkening. "That's not the point! You touched something that belonged to somebody else, which I'm still wondering how you managed to do that, since neither Tabula was there nor did you have the guild staff," Touch Me remarked, gesturing to the floating staff behind Momonga.

Ulbert was able to push aside his frustration to beam at his frenemy. "I'm so glad you asked actually! It was Variable Talisman who helped with that."

Touch Me raised a plated eyebrow. "He can do that? Since when? What'd he do, turn into the staff or something?"

"That's exactly what he did. It still took awhile to break in just cause Variable was in one of his 'moods' again," Ulbert said, rolling his eyes and subconsciously glancing at the mimic dragoon. He sat brooding in his chair, staring off into the distance with a blank expression on his face, constantly drawing a circle with his spindly index finger in the air. He had morphed his head to be in the shape of an anvil, but his beady eyes could still be seen on either side of the anvil's tip.

Before Ulbert could continue any further, another door at the opposite end of the dining room swung open, allowing the two chefs from earlier to come in, pushing silver carts piled high with an impressive array of dishes. The smell was so intoxicating that Ulbert felt himself already reaching out for one of the meals before another grip stopped him.

He whirled about, his fury rising to the forefront at being denied such delectable tastes, only slightly calming when he saw that it was one of Flatfoot's vines.

"Chill man, the food is coming. I get where you're coming from though! It smells simply divine...," Flatfoot said, a smaller tendril from his back stealthily sneaking out to also reach for a plate. He managed to stop himself just in time for the chefs to begin setting down plates in front of the ravenous guildmates.