[Flowers] • The Hunger Games

Twenty Five

She feared, more than anything, that he'd be a casualty of her actions. If Snow was as watchful as he seemed to be then he undoubtedly knew the nature of their situation. He was a Capitol favorite- which offered him some level of protection already. If she could distance herself from him- maybe he'd stay safe. If keeping him alive meant becoming strangers again, then she'd do anything to stay away from him. When it came to Snow, that was a very, very small price to pay.

A knock came to her door. She braced herself, hands balling into fists nervously as she scrambled to the backboard of her bed. Having something behind her assured her that she wouldn't be blindsided.

"Come in."

She was relieved to find that it was just Haymitch. He came in silently and closed the door behind himself. She watched him approach and sit himself down at the edge of her bed.

"Gale's over the tour and doesn't even want to go to the next location, let alone speak. Madge is gonna have to do it." He sighed. 

"Is Madge ready for that?" Asteria asked.

"No." He said honestly. "But we're out of options. Gale thinks his family's already dead, or they will be the moment we return. If they aren't- the kid's planning on uprooting them all and taking them into the woods. See if they can't make a go of it in the wilds." He said.

Asteria laughed bitterly. As if Snow wasn't listening, and that would actually work. It couldn't. And she was sure that Gale knew that. But- hope in the hopeless, right?

"Haymitch, I really messed up here." She said after a few moments. She watched the window as the train started up again, pulling away from district four's station as they headed west towards district three.

"I know, kid." Haymitch agreed.

She paused for a moment.

"I'm gonna tell him it was all me." Asteria said aloud. His eyes snapped up to hers, but she continued before he could protest. "I know. I know, we all played a hand in it. But it was my idea. If someone's gotta go down, it's only fair it's me. If it's all me then there's no reason to punish Gale, or Madge, or you. Maybe he's feeling merciful. Maybe it'll be a quick death." She chuckled.

"Stop it, no one's blaming anything on anyone, okay? Just- avoid, excuse, pacify. He won't be listening to you, so make him listen. You're just a paranoid nutcase from district twelve- you weren't in the right headspace when we were back in eleven. Folding now is the last thing you're gonna do, you hear me? If he thinks you're weak enough to submit to him then it's all over, he'll do whatever he wants to you." Haymitch said.

"I don't know if I can lie to him, Haymitch. Because I'm gonna see his face and all I'm gonna think about is that little girl, lying dead in a field of wildflowers. I'm gonna see that old man who was executed in eleven. I'm gonna look at him and see everything I hate in this world, and I'm going to snap." She told him.

"You can't do that." He shook his head. "Asteria, he won't make a martyr out of you. You die, the districts have something to rally behind. He needs you alive. But them?" He nodded out the window vaguely, while district four's landscape passed in the background.

"No one protects them." She muttered.

"We protect them." Haymitch told her. "By falling in line and not stirring the pot. They'll amp up security in twelve, tear down the hob and starve us out. They'll string up Gale's brothers and execute them in the street. Madge's father will be hanged for treason. District 11 will get a similar treatment. Not to mention that boy of yours. What he'll do to him to hurt you. And Snow will tell you around every corner that it's your fault. And he'll be half right."