The Last Hope (AU Book 1 of The Last Series)

Chapter 11

I grimaced and shrugged while I looked at him. "I guess," I replied tiredly. "And it isn't even over yet, isn't it?"

Andrei smiled sadly and shook his head no. "I am afraid not," he replied. "You still have nine hours to go."

I groaned and buried my face into his chest, and he chuckled and held me closer to him. "Then let me sleep the rest of that time away," I said. "It's not like I can do anything else."

Especially since I am not a prisoner in my tent...

"Well..." Andrei began but trailed off.

"Zip it," I warned and narrowed my eyes at him while I lifted my chest to look at him. I scowled, knowing full well where he was going with that statement.

I did leave the safety of the pack to go see them...

"It's not my fault. I wanted to see them work."

"Hmph," Andrei said and closed his eyes. "It is, too, your fault. Why did you want to see them work? You could have been killed."

"Ya, because I have not been trained to fight," I said. I huffed and shook my head. "If I were, then I wouldn't be such a disappointment."

Andrei's eyes grew softer, and he squeezed my arm reassuringly. "You aren't a disappointment, Lina," he said. He started to rub my arm again. "Don't think of yourself as one."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I blinked back some tears that wanted to fall and didn't say a word.

Andrei sighed and shifted until he was staring down at me. He scowled when I closed my eyes so as to not see his face and shook his head. "Open your eyes, Lina," he said.

"No," I replied, mumbling. "I don't want to open my eyes."

Andrei sighed again and poked my side, and I flinched away from him and squeaked. "Open them, Lina," he said, amusement filling his voice, "or else I will poke you again."

I groaned but did what he said and opened my eyes to stare at him with lips pressed into a thin line.

Andrei stared at me with eyes that held such sincerity and urgency that it took my breath away, and I had to bite my lip while I looked at him.

Slowly he cocked his head and cleared his throat while he stared at me, studying me as if I was something that needed to be protected.

"You aren't a disappointment," he said again softly and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear that had fallen out. "Yes, you haven't been trained to fight, but that doesn't make you a disappointment."

I moved my hands across my face and sniffled, fighting back the tears while I felt frustrated. "Then what am I?" I asked. "Why can't I learn how to fight? Why do I have to have people watching my back every fucking day?"

"Because it is our job to protect you," he said. He sighed and shook his head while he grew serious. "We've waited years for you, and I know that Cooper doesn't want to lose you so soon either."

"But she was able to fight and fend for herself," I argued, talking about Ry. "I am not. I am not allowed to protect my people or help them do anything like that. So why do you think I am not a disappointment when I clearly am?" I huffed and turned away from him so that I didn't have to look at him. "I am pretty sure that everyone thinks that way anyway."

Andrei stayed silent before he sighed and shook his head. "I don't," he said softly. "I've never thought you were a disappointment, and I know that Fernos doesn't either." He pulled me closer to him and placed a soft kiss on my head. "I hope that is enough for you."

I gritted my teeth, and tears pricked the corners of my eyes while I tried to hold back a sob. My heart ached and yearned for him to kiss me in a different way, but I knew that it wouldn't happen because he wasn't mine.

"Come on, Lina," he said and moved a hand across my back while he tried to get me to look at him again. "Don't act like that. Please?"

I bit back a scoff and rolled my eyes but didn't say a word. I set my jaw and bit my lip to keep myself from crying.

"I am serious, Lina," he said softly. "You aren't a disappointment. You are just... not strong enough, not yet." His voice grew softer in the end, and I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes while I scowled. "That is exactly why I am a disappointment, Andrei," I said, trying but failing to keep my voice from shaking. "I am not strong enough. I don't have the potential to be a good one when you all are counting on me to survive."

"You haven't been trained," Andrei said weakly. "You came at a time where there was a lot of fear and unrest amongst us. That is not your fault. It's the fault of Cooper's and those that have known about you being the one and not training you."

"And why haven't they done anything? Huh?" I asked. "Why haven't you done anything?" I turned around and looked at him, ignoring the fact that was so close to him and yet so far away.

My heart skipped a beat when I looked at him, but I didnt say a word while I waited for him to say something, anything, to give me a reason why he hadn"t done anything to help me and not follow what Cooper had said.

Andrei sighed and moved a hand across his face while he shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something before he closed it, deciding against it.

Again, he opened his mouth to say something, but instead, he closed it and second time and shook his head again, unable to tell me why no one has done anything differently.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, ignoring the sadness and tears that wanted to fall because I was tired, mentally and emotionally tired. "Get out," I said and turned away from him again so that he couldn't see the pain I was in.

Andrei tensed behind me. "L-"

"No," I said, interrupting him, my voice shaking. "Get out before I have Fernos force you out."

"Bu-"

"NO, ANDREI," I snapped before I turned to look at him and glared, and Andrei's eyes grew wide before he was able to mask his feelings. "Please, leave me alone for a bit. I'll be fine. I promise. I-I just..." I trailed off and shook my head while I grimaced, trying to keep the tears at bay. "Please."

I silently cursed myself when my voice broke, but I stayed strong and prayed that he would go ahead and leave like I asked.

Andrei groaned before he nodded and moved away from me. "Ok," he said while he stood. "But I won't be gone for long, ok?" he warned. "We are going to talk about everything. Understood?"

I didn't respond and hugged myself tighter while I closed my eyes.

Andrei huffed frustrated with my lack of response before he slowly nodded and left, leaving me alone to mourn in silence.

I'm sorry, I thought, knowing full well that he couldn't hear me and silently cried, again letting myself fall into the pits of despair. Forgive me...