Guardian Angel

Stay Castiel

A slight smile crossed his mouth as he stood looking at me, "If that is what you want".

"Well, if I'm not having these nightmares because you are here, then it only makes sense that you stay".

He didn't say anything, just nodded his head. I threw the journal into the bag and turned back to him "Do you want to meet me back at the bunker, or do you want to come for the drive?"

Not even thinking about it, he quickly said, "I'll come for the drive".

I picked up the bag and without thinking about what I was doing I grabbed Castiel's hand pulling him along behind me, out of my bedroom. It wasn't until I was at the front door of my apartment that I realised I had his hand. I spun around and face him to see him staring down at our hands, but he looked up and met my eyes with a slight smile.

"I am so sorry" I said, pulling my hand from his grip and watching the smile dissolve from his face quickly. I thought he would have been uncertain of my touch, but he seemed more upset when I pulled away "Oh, once again I'm sorry as I thought I had done something wrong by grabbing your hand, but you seem upset that I pulled away" I reached out again and took his hand in mine once again.

This time he pulled away, pushing past me he opened the apartment door and turned to me, "I'll feel better when we are back at the bunker"

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Castiel's POV

When Y/N grabbed my hand, I stared down at them and felt the smile as I didn't mind. My hand in hers looked natural and it felt nice. I allowed her to lead me out of the room, across the lounge and we made it to the door before she even looked back. I met her eyes, and she looked unsure as she pulled her hand from mine muttering an apology. I guess I was hoping for a bit too much that she was starting to feel the same way, but then she said she was sorry again for pulling away. I didn't understand which one it was, and I didn't really feel that having this conversation right now would be a good idea.

Maybe it was because I had spent more time in the bunker over my years with Sam and Dean, but I felt she would be safer there than standing here having this conversation in her apartment. She didn't want to upset me and had reached out once again to grab my hand, but I just pulled away and walked around her to the front door. I turned to her and said, "I'll feel better when we are back at the bunker"

She didn't move for a moment, but then sighed and grabbed her keys. I waited for her to lock the door and we made our way to the car in silence. I had to follow her as I didn't know where she had parked. I had had a quick thought that maybe I should have just met her back at the bunker, but then I also had a concerned feeling that something could happen to her, and I didn't want to leave her side, even though I wasn't really sure what she was feeling towards me.

She opened the car and threw the bag into the back seat, then got into the car behind the wheel. I got into the passenger's seat and she put on her seatbelt then stared at me. I looked over at her with a questioning look "Your seatbelt Castiel" she said simply.

"I do not need one"

She gave me an exasperated look as she said, "I don't care, put it on" and I heard the anger in her voice.

I found the belt and clicked it into place. When I glanced over at her she didn't look happy, and I wondered if I should just sit in silence or say something. I decided on the latter, "I'm sorry, I don't really understand emotions and I- "

"It's ok Castiel. I guess it's my fault" she didn't look away from the road as she continued, "I believe I do have these feelings for you, and I am acting on them before I really think about it. Then I realised what I've done and I'm worried that I have offended you, or I'm moving too fast. Does that make sense to you?"