'Ash, wake up. Everyone's up, and we want to have breakfast.' Groaning, I turn over, pulling the blanket over my face. 'Ash, please come.' I stretch, rubbing my eyes. I need to be there for Mira today. Preferably, I would like to skip this day. The chances of things going wrong today are simply way too high. A knot seems to tighten in my stomach, and I feel nauseous. What if it goes wrong. What if I lose Mira today? She flops onto my bed, crawling against me. Li and Levi follow, sitting down across from us. Mira rubs my hair, smoothing it. 'Your hair looks crazy,' she chuckles. I smile, and put my arm around her.
Li throws a bag in the middle of the bed, and I look at her in surprise. 'Breakfast. The most important meal of the day.' Mira shifts slightly, pulling the bag toward her. Silently she empties it, then sets the bag down beside her. 'I have four bottles of water, two bananas and four sandwiches.' Levi rubs his hands and looks longingly at the food. 'Everyone a bottle of water, half a banana and a sandwich?' he suggests. Everybody nods, and Mira hands out the food.
She then slides back next to me and snuggles up to me. I open my bottle of water, and drink a few big gulps. The knot in my stomach keeps me from shoving the food down my throat. I try to swallow away the lump in my throat, and take a bite of the bread. With difficulty I chew it away, and stare annoyed at the amount of bread left. I'm never going to finish that. I already have to try my best not to vomit. Mira squeezes her half-empty water bottle, causing a cracking sound. Her food lies untouched in front of her, and I notice she is trembling. Her hands are trembling, and the red marks on her arms and face have not yet faded away. I hope they won't become bruises.
Levi finishes his food in a few minutes, and moves busily on the bed. He is concentrating on folding the bag until only a small square remains. Li looks at it smiling, and quietly eats her food. 'Are you going to eat some more? You could use some strength for later,' I whisper in Mira's ear. She shakes her head and swallows. She then looks at me. There are tears in those beautiful blue eyes of hers. 'I'm nauseous.' I take hold of her trembling hand, rubbing it gently with my thumb. 'Will you please eat the banana? So you still get some food in?' She looks doubtfully at the banana in front of her, and slowly shakes her head. 'I'm nauseous too, Mi. That's normal, because we're scared. But I'm going to eat this sandwich, even though I'm not hungry. Will you please eat some too? Then we'll do it together.' Meanwhile, I peel our banana, and break it into small pieces.
I hand her a piece, and after a few seconds she grabs it. 'You first,' she murmurs, looking at me expectantly. Balking, I grab my sandwich, and take a big bite. I suppress the urge to vomit, and swallow the bite. The nerves take away all my appetite. She breathes out faltering, then puts the piece of banana in her mouth. I smile encouragingly, and she swallows it. It's a small victory, as each piece provides more energy for later. We take turns eating our food in small bites, until my sandwich, and Mira's banana, is finished.
Levi, meanwhile, has already eaten Mira's sandwich, but it was clear from the beginning anyway that she wouldn't eat it. When the banana is finished she moves away from me a little, wrapping her arms around her knees. Li makes a braid in her hair, and has a rubber band clamped between her teeth. The silence hangs between us like a heavy blanket. Levi taps his fingers restlessly on his knees, glancing at the clock every few seconds. As if we could predict when the first game will begin.
'What do you guys think the first game will be?' Levi breaks the silence, nervously rocking back and forth. Mira doesn't respond, staring numbly ahead. 'Something about coincidence?' suggests Li. I shake my head. That would be terrible, because Mira would have no control over it. 'I don't think so. Often the first game is something with knowledge, right?' Li frowns, then shrugs. 'At least we're with the lowest twenty,' Levi says. Panic gleams behind his eyes. 'I'm scared,' Mira mutters to my surprise. Her voice sounds fragile, and she has raised her shoulders high.
'Me too, but we could team up together. Would you like that?' asks Levi bravely, looking at her with hope. For a moment I fear she won't respond, but then she gives a small nod of her head. 'Gladly,' she whispers. I take a deep breath, trying to suppress a wave of panic and sadness. It hurts me to see her so scared. She looks like a fragile little bird, snapped to death with a squeeze. She stares at the blanket. She has her hands clasped against her body, rocking back and forth. Levi scratches his head, and looks at the clock again. It's such a strange idea that he and Mira will have to play the game soon. Maybe he'll be dead in a few hours.
'How do you feel, Levi?' He looks up, and my heart breaks. Pure panic radiates from his face, and he refuses to look straight at me. 'I don't want to talk about it,' his voice trembles, and he turns his face away. Li and I share a pitying glance. 'You look sad.' He smiles sadly, and shrugs. 'Wouldn't you be if you could die at any moment?' He falters, brushing his sleeve past his eyes. Mira looks up, as tears stick to her lashes. With soft gasps, Levi cries, hiding his face behind his hands. 'I just don't want to die yet, that's all.' I swallow, and put an arm around Mira. Tears burn behind my eyes, but I can't cry now.
Li extends her hand, holding it invitingly in front of Levi. 'Ssssh, just hold my hand. It's all going to be okay.' He rests his head on his knees, slipping his hand into Li's. She squeezes his hand gently, rubbing his arms. 'I don't want to die either,' Mira sobs. Helplessly, I look at her. How can I comfort her? She slumps against me, hiding her face in my clothing. I rub her back, drawing little patterns with my fingers. She occasionally flinches, but allows it. Levi pulls his hands from Li's, drying his face. He takes a gasping breath, then smiles bravely. 'Mira, if you stay close to me later we can help each other. Maybe we'll both survive.'
Mira nods, and comes out from behind my clothes. The crying has stopped, occasionally she still sniffs briefly. She avoids everyone's gaze, and fidgets with the blanket. 'I'll do my best.' It comes out softly, but the words seem to reassure Levi slightly. She then turns, and looks at me. Her eyes are red-rimmed, but the tears are gone. 'Will you stay near me, too?' Quickly I nod, resisting the urge to press her close to me again. 'As long as I can, I'll stay close. I promise.' She smiles briefly, and sits up against the edge of the bed.
The steps creak, and surprised, I look at the cheerful head that appears beside my bed. Of everyone in this room, I least expected him here. But perhaps also most hoped he would come. 'Good morning ladies, and gentleman. Am I interrupting?' Li looks at me wide-eyed, and my cheeks turn red. Quickly I look at Mira; she doesn't really seem to respond to Rim. Levi smiles briefly, and shakes his head. 'Not at all, you're welcome. We just seem to have a lot of emotions at the moment,' I say, making room on the bed so he can fit on it. He climbs onto the bed, and carefully settles down. 'That's very understandable in the situation we're in. I'm sorry to come here, but I don't know anyone else besides you.'
Now Li looks even more surprised if possible. I hadn't had a chance to tell her about last night yet. 'It's no problem, really. And we could use some company.' Levi shifts on the bed, looking at Rim curiously. 'I'm Levi, who are you?' Rim smiles, and shakes Levi's hand. 'Hello, my name is Rim. Who are you guys?' He looks at Li and Mira curiously. Mira clamps her lips together stiffly, refusing to look at him. 'My name is Li, and that's Mira.' Rim forms a circle with his mouth, and nods slowly. Then he seems to remember something, and takes something out of his pocket.
'I smuggled something from home, and maybe you guys would like some of that, too?' Now he has Mira's attention. She follows his movements closely. He opens his hand, and there are ten candies in colorful wrappers in his palm. Mira sits up straight. Rim notices her changing posture and chuckles. 'Do you want some? Mira glances quickly at me first, but then nods. She opens her hand, and he drops two candies into it. He then throws two sweets to the everyone else, and keeps two himself.
