Heartsteel

heartrending

"You can come in," I tell her as I lift a folded leg onto my bed and begin pulling out worksheets, a textbook, and my pencil case.

I'm not looking at her as I hear her enter the room and stroll towards me, but somehow I can just tell — her irritating smile's back in full force.

*****************************************

In a shocking turn of events, the homework session's actually going fine.

It's been like twenty minutes now, and I'm on the last worksheet. Turns out Basil has more than just a 'good handle' on English, and dare I say she's not so bad as a teacher too.

I can't help myself from stealing a glance at her face every now and then though. I still don't have an explanation for what I saw yesterday, and even though my brain's nagging for an answer, the rest of me won't let me ask the damn question. Basil hasn't really addressed it either, about her face changing and that Jason guy showing up.

She must be avoiding the conversation too. Maybe she's hiding something. Maybe what I saw wasn't just a joke yesterday.

My phone buzzes again. I dig it out from beneath my backpack in the corner of the bed and check the text I received.

From Nilsa, 'u ok? ur not still sleeping, r u?'

I don't notice my weighted sighing as I type out 'awake and getting head start on homework. more time for anime binging later'.

"Everything alright?"

I set my phone down and look up to see Basil giving me an uneasy look. For some reason it's making me uneasy. "U-umm, yeah. It's just my friend asking if I'm okay."

My lower lip curls inward and I absentmindedly start to chew on it as my eyes drop back down to the worksheet. I shouldn't have said that, or anything at all. Maybe dad already told her about it, but she probably wasn't even going to bring up my surgery until I reminded her of it. I mean, I guess I didn't exactly mention any keywords, so maybe she won't-

"Are you okay?" she immediately asks.

Gosh damn it.

I look up at her, again, but she's not looking back at me this time. Her face is still twisted with unease, and she's looking...at my chest. The fucking incision.

My jaw twitches, and my brain rattles itself trying to find me an answer to give. It settles for just changing the subject.

I clear my throat but the next words I say still come out quiet and scratchy. "Umm, so back to question 6a-"

"Can't believe Fadel's done it..." Basil mutters, but I hear every word.

Both me, and what feels like my heart too, freeze for a few seconds. "W-what...What did you say?"

Basil blinks back to reality, those sapphire orbs snapping back up to meet me face to face. "Oh...sorry about that. Nevermind."

No. Not nevermind.

I thrust myself up from bed, ignoring the rustling of my worksheets and clatter of my pencils and pens. "What the fuck did you just say?"

She flinches, like I've actually managed to scare her this time. Good. She better take me seriously.

"S-suzie, I don't-"

"Fadel — Doctor Fadel. How do you know who he is?"

"No I — I don't-"

"You just said 'you couldn't believe he's done it'. Done what? Did he...do something to me? During my surgery?"

Basil's slowly getting to her feet now, palms in the air attempting to pacify me like they were yesterday when I met her. "Please calm down, Suzie. I'm not sure what you're talking-"

"Don't! Just don't!"

The pace of my heartbeat's picking up, expanding and contracting against my chest, and I can feel sweat slicking up my hands and pits and forehead. Either I'm on the verge on having another episode, or I'm just about ready to scream the world into oblivion.

"I know what I heard! And I know what I saw."

Basil's arms lose momentum, fall to her sides. Her lips part but nothing comes out.

I go on before she can. "Yesterday, in the gym...your face...you-you're not..."

"Suzie," she takes a step towards me, then another, "please calm down."

"Don't touch me!" I practically jump back away from her.

My heart's in the middle of a marathon; leaping hurdles, dashing miles, a flash of something familiar...something heavy. The only thing I don't feel is the usual nausea that follows.

"...get out..." Lightheadedness finds me and I wobble back a step. My hand makes it to the left side of my chest even though it knows it can't do anything to slow down my heart.

"Suzie," Basil's eyes dart between me the hand on my chest, uneasiness back to permeate her features. "Are you oka-"

"No."

What did he do to me? What the fuck did Doctor Fadel do to me? What kind of radioactive heart is inside me now?

"Suzie, I need to tell you-"

"Save it! Just leave. Leave my apartment, leave my life, and leave my dad alone. If you don't leave right now, I'll start screaming so the whole building will hear me." Guess I'm having another episode and are ready to scream the world to oblivion.

Basil tries again with her hands in the air, but for only a split second before she gives it up. "...I'm so sorry."

I watch as she departs my bedroom, and wait to hear the front door open and shut before finally moving myself. First, to my closet, to collect my shoes and purple hoodie. Second, to the closest bus stop that'll take me downtown where I can catch another bus to the hospital.

Another buzz from my phone. Either Nil or dad, but I'm not planning on responding to any texts for next couple hours so I ignore it.

It's real, it's all real — glowing eyes, odd smells, dragon-like skin. What the hell is happening?

There's only one person who I want answers from right now.