Free Me

chapter five

‘’No matter what happens,’’ she repeated, with a hint of a smile. Neither knew what the statement meant. It felt as though there was an affinity between them.

The smile was wonderful. A small bubble of joy was starting in the pit of her stomach. A step had been taken into the future of her own life and it was a step which she had chosen and decided for herself. That was the first time for Rose Dewitt Bukater. If that was who she even was anymore. The identity seemed to slowly be left behind somewhere; perhaps she even died with the Titanic. A new day seemed to want to dawn and into the future unleash a new version of herself which would go on without the aid of another person, without the instructive tuition of her mother, without the control of Cal and freedom would be within reach. Rose would be in control of that.

Jack’s presence so close to her was distracting. Rose hadn’t noticed how their coats were almost touching and their torsos just an inch or so apart. How would he feel against her without any outer clothing? What if all barriers would eventually be shed between them leaving two exposed souls baring everything to the other? Her cheeks began to glow ashen with the thoughts which she quickly discarded from her mind.

‘’Are you all right?’’ Jack sensed her change in mood.

‘’Yes.’’

The disturbing thoughts left her head as quickly as they had initially come. A woman’s maiden is not supposed to be given up so easily to a man she had known barely a week; no matter how much she cared for him and he for her. Marriage would be the time to even consider a time to take a man to bed and yet, here she was pining to feel him strangely naked against her.

‘’I fear the cold is affecting me, so.’’

‘’Can I take you inside?’’

Rose shook her head. ‘’Not just yet, perhaps we could have another minute or so before we return? I like it out here,’’ she quietly, confessed, ‘’I feel as though we are the only beings in the entire universe.’’

‘’I always feel that way beneath the stars.’’

‘’Were you always such a star gazer?’’

‘’Yes,’’ he smiled, knowingly, ‘’Pops would call me that. I was always outdoors, watching the sky.’’

‘’How was the sky in California?’’

‘'The best sunsets which I had ever seen. The people are alive out there. They live, probably the best I have ever known. Carefree and just--’’

‘’--happy?’’

‘’Yes.’’

Rose turned her attention back to the ocean. The blackness surrounded them and it was hard to imagine anything beyond these waves which lapped against the vessel which carried them to New York. This world seemed to be wonderful for the time being and a guilt pulled at her for finding such happiness, even just for a few moments, when people mourned below her.

‘’Did you find employment easily out there?’’

‘’Yes. Both times. People were always willing to help you. I worked on a Squid boat, a bar or two, I worked on the market and then painted houses for a little while until I was able to make money just by doing portraits down by the pier.’’

‘’And riding horses in the surf, right?’’

As the dusk drew to a close and the night set in, neither had realised just how much time had passed in their presence with the other. Each time they had spent time with the other seemed to be timeless. The temperature must have plunged lower since they had been out on the decks and yet, it seemed to be unnoticed as the warmth within their faces seemed to speak volumes.