Despair's Insanity - an II x DR fic

TTM - 5

My vision was in dizzy, spinning and splitting apart into new shapes, but I tried to sit up regardless, rubbing my eyes until it went away. How long had I been out for? The room was pitch black, and I didn't see much except a hand next to me. Oh god.

Not another one... I shut my eyes and said a silent prayer as I turned, and I saw Pepper lying next to me, a pool of blood around her. My stomach churned, and I tried to stumble out of the room, but then I heard a soft, hoarse voice.

"Lifering- you're alive!" I kept turning around to see what was going on, and I got up to feel around for the lights. Once I'd turned them on, I saw the door was closed, and I finally saw who'd said that.

Baseball, sitting up by his bedside, covered in even more stab wounds and blood. He coughed some up, managing a weak smile. "I thought you... I thought you got killed, too. I'm so happy..."

"BASEBALL!" I hurried over to him, dropping to my knees as I took off my tank top to put pressure on his wounds. He put a hand over mine, meekly pushing it down.

"Don't...bother."

"What- what the hell happened?! Who hurt you?!"

"Lifering..." He coughed up a bit more blood, trying to wipe off his mouth as he looked right at me. "I know you... want me to tell you who did it- but- I just... wanna talk to you."

"Baseball... no- no- no! You're ok! Just let me-"

"Please, calm down." I couldn't just CALM DOWN. I woke up just a minute ago- and was met with this again... I tried to hold him upright. "I'm scared enough... funny how people don't wanna die anymore when they're dying, huh?"

"No- you're not gonna die. You're gonna be fine. I- I was... Baseball, please," I whimpered, pulling him into a tight hug. "Please just wait... I can fix it..."

"No... it's over. I had my chance."

Everything in the world felt like it had begun to slow down, as his warm blood spilled onto my own clothes and skin, and I just kept holding onto him as I tried to fight back the overwhelming urge to scream for help.

"Fan would be here if I was supposed to live..."

"You can't- you can't leave... me..." My grip only tightened. "Please don't- it's too soon- I didn't plan for this. I didn't want this!-"

Baseball put a hand on my shoulder, and I pulled back a bit to look at his face again. He looked so dull, but he tried to keep smiling at me. "Lifering... are we...friends?"

"Of course- you're my friend! You- I- you were so helpful- you wanted to be there for me even after you went through hell- of course you're my friend! Baseball...?" His eye color had begun to fade, but he sighed.

"I haven't made a friend in years... you've made me so happy lately, Lifering. Thank you."

"Baseball."

He went quiet, his breathing slowing down.

"B-Baseball... please..."

His eyes went to a pale gray, and his hand on my shoulder fell to the ground. I stared at him for a while, now feeling the pool of blood beneath me, and the warm streaks running down my face. I shut my eyes as tightly as I could and hugged him with all the strength I could muster. As if I squeezed enough, he might wake up. I had wasted time just pitying the situation. I could've not listened to him- I could've stopped the bleeding! I could've saved him. But I didn't. And he was now dead in my arms.

The door opened up with Oj at the front.

"We're not sick anymore, Lifering. I knew you..." he trailed off and stared at me, holding a corpse as I sat a few feet away from another one. Instead of saying anything to me directly, he just mumbled something and hurried off.

I sat there for a while, just thinking of how I could've stopped this. How was I that weak, that I got hit in the head and just sat there as TWO people died?! How did Pepper even get in here? How did I not hear Baseball's screams? How long did he fight to stay awake, just for that final moment?

A whole stampede of footsteps ran over, and the first thing the crowd did, was have Bomb and Trophy walk over to me to pull me away from Baseball.

I couldn't explain what happened in my head at that exact moment- other than I had completely snapped- because I suddenly started screaming at the top of my lungs, furiously punching and kicking at the two as they pried me away from his body.

"THAT'S MY FUCKING FRIEND! GET AWAY FROM ME! LET GO! PLEASE- PLEASE! I CAN'T LEAVE HIM!" I couldn't even control my own volume, choking on tears and fighting for dear life. "GOD DAMN IT- ALL OF YOU GET OUT! DON'T TOUCH HIM! I CAN- I CAN HELP HIM! PLEASE- BASEBALL!"

Despite my efforts, I couldn't win against two grown men with a decent amount of strength, and as I kept screaming for someone to give Baseball back to me, I was pulled out of the room entirely and dragged down the hall, to my own hotel room. Trophy and Bomb set me down onto my feet, but I crumpled to my knees immediately, still sobbing through a now aching throat as they closed the door and locked me inside.

My entire body was quivering, and I felt so much boiled up frustration that I just took out my anger, and punched the floor over and over. With each grunt and punch, I could hear cracks, I could see blood, but I didn't care or feel the pain anymore. By the time I'd finished with my outburst, and just began to cry instead, all of my fingers on my left hand were broken and strewn in awkward places, some with bone sticking out and blood leaking down my hand.

And who else showed up, but Fan.

"Oh hi Lifering! I heard you screaming, and I-" he stopped abruptly as he stared at me. His eyes were wide as he looked down at my hand before looking me in the eye. I said nothing, because my vocal cords had been shredded by my own anger, but Fan sat down in front of me. "Lifering, Uhm- that's a bit dangerous." He chuckled, but it faded into uncomfortable silence as I glared at him still. He opened his mouth to speak, and reached an arm out to do something, but it never carried out fully. He stopped smiling for a second, and just got up. "I'll leave you alone."

As he'd turned into smoke, I could hear my phone buzzing on my nightstand. I mustered up all my strength to crawl over and grab it. They were investigating... but they should've known it was my fault.