desiderium | m. o'hara

twenty-four

  Gabriel exhales slowly. He releases my shoulders and steps around me to enter Miguel's suite. He glances at the massive painting of dead-me, glances at me-me, and takes a tense seat on one of the cream-coloured couches. He holds his head in his hands. I awkwardly close the door and hover in the entrance to the living room.

  "Where's Miguel?" he asks.

  "Upstairs," I answer quietly. "He's asleep."

  "How long has he been travelling to your dimension?"

  I look away and feel like a scolded child. "... four months."

  Gabriel leans back in the couch and runs his hands down his face. He spits a curse into his palms. "He's an idiot."

  I don't speak. I'm also suddenly wishing I'd stolen some of Miguel's pants, too, even if they would swim on me and trip me over. This isn't the kind of conversation to have while wearing only my boyfriend-slash-husband's very large shirt.

  Just as I'm about to make an awkward escape towards the stairs, Miguel descends wearing only sweatpants and scratches his head with a yawn. I'm too stressed out to even ogle him. Gabriel stands, his expression stony. His older brother doesn't meet his gaze.

  "Gabe. I thought I heard you," Miguel says as he heads into the kitchen. He's already on the defence, and the energy in the room is thick and tense.

  "What do you think you're doing?" Gabriel snaps. "When you found 928-B, we agreed not to interfere!"

  Ah, yes. This is definitely a pants conversation.

  Miguel turns his focus to me before I can escape. His red gaze is guarded. "Would you like a coffee, cariño?"

  My eyes flicker between him and his brother unsurely. "Uh... no, thanks."

  "Don't ignore me- Dios, I hate it when you do that," Gabriel hisses. He approaches the kitchen where Miguel tensely makes himself a drink. "I told you it would be a bad idea! You're messing with the very nature of reality."

  "Is there a reason you came here?" Miguel asks.

  "Miguel!" Gabriel shoves his brother around to face him. "This is wrong! She's meant to stay in her world, and you're meant to stay in yours. You can't exist together." 

  Miguel's expression tightens. "Her world lost their Spider-Man. I wasn't about to let Y/n and our daughter live there without protection."

  "They're not yours!" Gabriel argues. "You can't just escape your life to join theirs, it's unnatural, Mig! She's dead!"

  Miguel flinches. His gaze jumps to me, standing hesitantly in the middle of the living room. I shift beneath the grief in his eyes. I know who I'm reminding him of, here in this world, in this home, in this shirt.

  Every part of my world is gone from me. Every part except Rosalina's bracelet. I'm even more of a spitting image of the woman he lost.

  Miguel's hurt gaze falls away. "I couldn't risk it, Gabri. She's precious to me. They both are."

  Gabriel turns away with a low groan. He rubs the back of his neck and glances at me. When our eyes meet, his bounce away. Miguel returns to making his coffee - an excuse to look neither of us in the face.

  "You can't cheat death like this," Gabriel says. "Neither of you can. Miguel, you're always talking about keeping order to the multiverse." He gestures between us. "How is this order?"