𝑌𝑢𝑎𝑛𝑓𝑒𝑛 : Do You Believe In Destiny?

Chapter 10 : The monster that loved you. [Edited Version]

There was something fishy and Hayes could feel a foreboding cling to his chest like a newborn to its mother's bosom. The sunlit balcony as much as it triggered something in his chest and mind, the fact that Emily was also mysteriously absent created a havoc in the poor prince's brain.

◀ Hayes? Are you alright? I'm really sorry for not responding any sooner, there were some updates I needed to complete in my own system. ▶

'I-It's nothing... I just had a weird dream; I would like to go back and check in my memories and find any substantial we can use later on.' The prince found himself shivering, not out of cold, not of fear but, a third unidentified emotion.

What a strange feeling to be alive, and not understand yourself at all sometimes.

 Was this what it meant to be completely human and alive again?

Perhaps.

Maybe.

And just when his mind torment would torment him any further, Hayes remembered a quote from his last life that went, "Who hasn't ever wondered: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?" It had been words that stuck with him, even if felt like neither; like a third different entity that neither the poets nor the psychologists had discovered yet. 

"I don't think it would do you any better if you sleep on your own tonight, Hayes. You should sleep in our tent for tonight at least." Alexander spoke, gently stroking his son's hair; lord he was so afraid to lose his son to an insanity that mirrored his very own.

Hayes was barely even a teen, and a paranoia like his own would lead the poor boy unforgivably insane, and no matter how absent of a father, Alexander had been years ago, it didn't mean he couldn't try and fix things before it went any further down the hill.

"Alright, dad." Hayes smiled a little, Emily was already informing him of whatever his father was thinking, and all he could think was, 'I wish I could understand your pain dad, but I hope I don't; not when I'm in your shoes, but perhaps as an empath.'

The emperor and the crown prince talked for quite some time into the night before Ulah had to come themself and get their lover and son to go back to bed. And once sure Hayes was asleep, the pair of lovers sat by the bed's edge, not saying anything but seeing the same sea together.

"Something is wrong, isn't it?" Ulah asked quietly, as they rested their head on their crimson haired lover's shoulder.

"Hayes was having seizures in his dreams... And I don't know what to make of them. The seizure wasn't as violent, but just the fact that he was having them makes my heart uneasy. I know, I haven't been a father, let alone a good one but, why must that God - if there is one - punish my children like this? What did those innocent beings do such wrong? That they were born? Huh, how ridiculous, all for claiming that gods are benevolent." If Alexander wanted to cry, he didn't really show it yet, perhaps it was because of his years as an emotionless and effective ruler that his tears dried up as soon as they threatened to show up, "If this is His benevolence, I'm better off without it, and so are my kids. I don't need His benevolence if cursing and causing my children pain is the way; I had rather die than accept it."

Ulah said nothing, not that they didn't have words but because, it wasn't the right time. Alexander didn't need a rational explanation or a solution, he needed someone to hear him, as him. As just a father of three kids, not an emperor of an impressive empire; just as a person.

Would things have been different if they were never torn apart? Maybe. But that is now the past, and one thing Ulah knew by heart was: people only craved for the past simply they didn't have it yet, because what one does when they finally catch the past?