Take This To Heart |Stan X Kyle|

23: Take This To Heart - FINALE

Nobody attempts to cut him off, or interject. "Of all the people standing in my goddamn house tonight, he's the only one that's been honest with me! He's the only one that's offered me a modicum of truth in the fucked up spiral I've been subjected to this entire time!" Nobody attempts to draw attention to the tears welling in his eyes, either. "What... what is it that parents always say to their kids?" He mumbles humorously to himself, before donning a sarcastically over-the-top accent. "I'm not mad son, I'm just disappointed." He mocks, using a Randy-style impression before shaking his head.

I seem to be the only one still attempting to keep eye-contact, not that he appears in the mood to return it, or anything. "I...I wish I could be angry. I wish I could yell and scream and have a perfectly aesthetic and cathartic breakdown right now and tell you all exactly how I feel about these lies and deceit and... and feelings..." that last part felt awfully targeted. "... but I can't, I just can't! I... there's no satisfaction here, not now. I just... I don't know, I don't know!" He stresses again, turning away once more.

Gregory motions for Cartman and Kenny. "I'll... I'll tell you what I told Kyle a mere few hours ago. I told Stan about the nature of our facaded relationship because my... my feelings for Kyle ultimately guided me to clarity." He swallows. "These lies and heartaches weren't the right thing to do to someone I cared so deeply about. So I decided to end things... and Kyle," Adressing me directly now, I look up towards him. "It wasn't the right thing for you to do either, so... tell Stan the truth."

Words don't even leave Cartman's mouth, he just gives one exasperated sigh, before pulling out his phone in some kind of short-circuiting instinct.

I... I can't even... No. I just need to say what's on my mind, that's all I need to do.

"I'm sorry, Stan." Is all I can mutter out, leaning forward to... well, I don't know why. I just... I kinda want to be... close... closer... "I... I don't know if there's anything I can say that Gregory didn't already tell you when he... when he told you the truth... but I did this because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. And... I still don't want to." Stan doesn't need to cry for me to understand the heartache he's currently induring, and I have no right to pretend I understand so much as a milligram worth of it either.

Stan can only look down on me, perhaps to prevent a certain liquid from escaping onto his cheeks. "I... I don't want our friendship to end either, Kyle." He cocks his head ever-so-slightly. "I... I don't want anything to end. I wanted something knew and concurrently to begin in it's own new, unique entirety."

I... I think I know where he's going with this.

"I don't understand why they say that, y'know!" Stan exasperates again. "People say stuff like, ruining friendships, and being more than friends, and they use all this language about friendship disintegration in order to make way for seemingly newer, more romantic content to bloom and... I just don't get it! Why can't there be both? Why does anything bad have to come in the way of a friendship in order for... for whatever natural feelings arise to come up... y'know?"

Stan said there'd be no catharsis in this moment, but I'm not so sure... he seems to be looking a heck of a lot more relieved right now.

"Let's... let's foster both, then!" I interject, not realising how hoarse my voice was until this second. "I know this has all been... a lot, and I'm not suggesting we let any of it slide or pretend what happened didn't in the first place. But, we could just... let whatever feelings there are... platonic, romantic, whatever! Let's just let them surge organically! I don't want to be afraid of communication anymore. I want to be vocal about what I want and need without fear of rejection of backlash. I just want to be my own authentic self, and I want to have an authentic relationship with you, Stan." Maybe the smile a let slip at the end there wasn't entirely tonally relevant, but somehow... it feels necessary.