Loyalty and Mischief (WIP)

Chapter 40 - There seems no turning back from here

This can't be happening, this can't be happening, this cannot be happening!

But the more Loki stared at his feminine hands and wrists, the more he felt the weight of his prominent bosom, and the more he shook his head in disbelief, causing the long tresses of raven hair to tumble over his now slender shoulders, the more he realised it was happening. He was no longer a 'he', but a 'she'. The 'she' he had promised himself to never let out again.

Turn back into yourself, he willed himself. Turn back into yourself right now!

But no matter how hard he tried, the magic failed him. It reverberated through him, like the echo of a drum, but didn't take effect. A shadow suddenly fell over Loki. Two delicate hands reached out. He shrank back against the bottom of the alabaster basin, making himself as small as possible to not reveal anything else of his female form. A woman with red hair crouched before him. The shock in her emerald eyes tore at Loki. She raised her hand again.

"No, don't touch me!" The cry came out in a voice he hadn't spoken with or heard in so long, pushing Loki even further into the merciless reality of this horrifying nightmare.

"All right," said Sigyn quickly. "All right, calm down."

Warmth seeped through Loki's being. It hugged him tightly, trying to soothe as it had hundreds of times before, but in this form, all Loki felt was torturous agony. He hadn't shown this part of himself in almost seventy years. To have Sigyn see him like this now...

"Loki, what happened?" she asked.

He pressed his quivering lips together. If he didn't say it aloud, there was still a chance for this all to just be a dream.

"Who did this to you?" insisted Sigyn. "Hermes?"

The name of his former lover wrung at Loki's insides, and he broke down again. Why, in Odin's name, had he followed that traitorous bastard to that witch?

"Ssh, calm down," shushed his wife. "Please calm yourself. We'll sort this out, don't worry. I've already ordered the doppelgänger I left at the feast to search for him. And Fandrall and Rúna are on their way."

Panic seized Loki at the mention of their companions. He lunged at Sigyn, fingers digging into her upper arms as he grabbed hold of her, and begged, "No, no, no, please don't! They can't see me like this!"

"Loki, let go, you're hurting me!"

But he only clutched her tighter. Bad enough Sigyn had found him in this horrid form, but his ward? His brother's friend? No, he couldn't allow that!

"Don't let them see me, Sigyn, please," Loki pleaded, half-mad with fear. "You can't let them. You can't —"

His deranged whimpers were abruptly cut short by a loud screech. The lithe figure of a hawk flew into the room, accompanied by a blur of gold. The light grew and exploded, blinding Loki. Wind cut through his skin like an executioner's blade. Blood flowed from the wounds. Why was it so cold? Was he already dead?
Darkness took hold of Loki. Sigyn's harrowed scream faded as all else around him did. He saw nothing. Heard nothing. Yet he felt everything. Despair. Terror. Loathing. Grief. His magic evanesced, and his heart... After all he had done, all he had caused... What remained was a crudely cut chunk of ice, grotesquely shaped to resemble a heart. And all he saw reflected in that frigid interior was a red-eyed monster. A beast. A nightmare.

It's... only a dream. Only... a dream.

***

Sigyn released her fury. She no longer cared if her actions pushed Asgard and Olympus on the brink of war. To her, they had already declared it the moment they attacked her husband. As she shielded an unconscious Loki with her body, she ordered her two fiery serpents to attack the hawk who had so brazenly set upon them.
The bird bathing in light as bright and hot as the sun attempted to escape, but the snakes were faster. One coiled itself around its prey as the other clutched the hawk's neck between its ember-spitting mouth. Screeches of pain and terror resounded through the blazing room.