Dumb Fun and Foolish Incidents (The adventures of piper and jj!!)

FartDate Mayhem

Piper ran away from his house with tears rolling down her face, she couldn't believe what just happened! Piper then decided to call Matilda about this. She called her and sayid "Mattie you won't believe what just happened!" Matilda, expecting to hear one of her silly stories that go on for 5 years, scoffed and replied "What is it Piper? I'm kind of busy so this better be at least somewhat worth my time." Piper exclaims "I just broke up with JJ! I told him "YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ARE SO DARN UGLY I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAYS, YOU ARE SO UGLY ONLY A BLIND, DRUNK WOMAN WOULD ACTUALLY WANT TO DATE YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME! I THINK I'D RATHER DATE AN OGRE THAN YOU! YOU ARE SO UGLY THAT EVEN YOUR MOTHER GAGGED LOOKING AT YOU! YOU ARE SO FAT YOU STEPPED ON A SCALE AND IT SAID "ERROR: TOO MANY BIG MACS, LOSE WEIGHT NOW!" AND I DO NOT KNOW HOW THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE BUT YOU PROVED THAT IT IS, AND I BET IF I PUSHED YOU DOWN THE STAIRS YOU WOULDN'T EVEN FALL AND INSTEAD ROLL FOR A FEW FEET LIKE A GIANT BALL, THEN GET STUCK BETWEEN THE WALLS!, AND WHEN YOU WENT TO SEA WORLD A WHALE JUMPED UP AND SANG "WE ARE FAMILY, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE FATTER THAN ME!" YOU ARE SO STUPID I BET YOU WERE DRIVING TO KFC AND IT SAID "KFC LEFT" SO YOU WENT HOME! YOUR HEAD IS SO BIG YOU HAVE THE STEP INTO YOUR SHIRTS, BUT OH WAIT, YOU CAN'T CAUSE YOUR STOMACH IS TOO DARN BIG SO YOU HAVE TO USE VELCRO STRAPS! WE ARE BREAKING UP, YOU UGLY, HIDEOUS, DISGUSTING, CHEATING, CRUSTY, EYESORE TO LOOK AT, RAT AND I HOPE I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN" Mattie laughed after hearing Piper rant about this and says "I knew that would happen eventually." They ended the call and Piper walked home, she went to her room and made a dating app profile, this app is called FartDate

She gets a match within 20 minutes and it is JJ, she scoffs and just blocks him, as soon as she blocks him she gets another FartDate match! It is the "Perfect" guy (note: Piper has bad taste in guys) and she talked to him. Next week she has a date with this guy, when she met up with him he didn't wear deodorant because he thought he didn't stink, but the stench was horrible. Piper said she would pay when she was chatting with him on FartDate so it was nearly not feasible to get out of this, she had to think of a plan, because this guy smelt like a dog that didn't take a bath for 5 years and rotten onions combined. The food came, and you guessed it, she excused herself to the bathroom and just straight up left.When she finally got out even the air smelt good, that guy was the smelliest thing EVER, she ran home as fast as she could and instantly blocked that guy on FartDate