Blurred Lines

17. the talk

I turn to see Emily reclining back in her chair, hands folded under her chin, head resting on her index fingers. "Ma'am," I say, shifting under her stare. "Come sit," she says, moving to gesture at the chairs in front of her. The last time I was sitting across from her like this was that fateful night. I can tell she's thinking the same thing, because as I sit down, her lip catches between her teeth. I drop my gaze, bowing my head as I force those memories from my mind. They are the reason I am in this position in the first place.

"Look at me, Y/n," Emily says softly. I slowly lift my head to meet her gaze. "You know why you're here," she continues in that soft tone. It sends shivers down my spine, and I swallow harshly, terrified of it. "Y-yes," I whisper. I fight the urge to duck my head again, to look everywhere else but at her. She hums, and leans back in her seat, simply studying me. "I'm sorry," I say meekly. "What are you sorry for, Y/n?" Emily's voice turns cajoling, trying to coax a proper apology from me.

"I disrespected you in front of the team, multiple times, and created tension between us," I sigh, dropping my gaze from her. "Yes," she says, "I'm not suspending JJ or Tara, by the way." I huff a breath. "Right, I was also hungover while still on the case," I mutter to myself. "What was that?" Emily leans in, apparently missing what I said. "Nothing, sorry," I backtrack quickly. She raises an eyebrow at me, but lets it slide. "I am also not going to suspend you. You're going to be benched from the field for at least two weeks, however, and I am assigning you extra files on top of the cases that we do get during those two or so weeks," she declares.

I snap my head up to hers, relief flooding through me. "Thank you, Chief," I breathe. She narrows her eyes at me. "I wasn't done," she snaps. I shrink back into my seat, nervously waiting for her to continue. She gets up and stalks around her desk, stopping in front of me. She leans back against her desk, crossing her arms as she studies me. I gaze up at her, confused at her expression. "What rule did you break?" her voice is just a whisper, but it sends an immediate flood of fear, and arousal, through me. "W-what?" I stutter.

She bends at her waist, leaning closer to me. "Our list. What. Rule. Did. You. Break?" she repeats, her voice harsher, though her eyes betray her. They're soft, and her gaze feels like a gentle caress, though she doesn't touch me. I swallow harshly, realizing what this is. Too many thoughts race through my mind at once, and I only have a split second to make a choice on what to do. I close my eyes, taking a breath to steady myself.

What rule did I break? I think back to that list of rules. Oh. Nothing at work changes between us because of this night. But wait, that rule wasn't deemed a part of a punishable offense, was it? Shit. She wants to punish me. Wait, but we aren't exclusive to each other. And wait, who said I wanted this? Me. Fuck. Okay. What do I do? I shou- My train of thought gets interrupted by a hand cupping my jaw, forcing my head up. My eyes fly open, and I find myself staring into Emily's smoldering eyes.

"Uh, um, the twelfth rule, Ma'am," I find myself stuttering out. "Which was what, Y/n?" she asks, getting impatient with me. "Nothing at work is to change between us after the undercover operation," I respond weakly, unable to resist the pull of dominance radiating from the woman gripping harshly at my chin. "Yet it did," she lets go of my face, leaning back against her desk again, crossing her arms over her chest, "It's my fault. I shouldn't have touched you."

She huffs out a breath, staring off across the room. "Emily," I start, and she snaps her gaze back to me, her eyes narrowed. "Emily," I say more forcefully, setting boundaries with her, "What happened happened. We can't go back and change the past. We both were caught up in the moment. I could have said no, but I didn't. I wanted it. I know we were on a case, but I couldn't help it. You're just so..." I trail off, realizing my honesty could get me in even more trouble. "So what, Y/n?" Emily presses. I sigh. "So alluring. I was a moth to your flame," I whisper, my cheeks reddening at my confession.

Her gaze softens as she kneels before me, her hands coming to rest on my knees. "Y/n," she breathes, "You drew me in from the first day you started working for me. I could tell there was something about you that captured my attention. You just have this... this wholesome air about you. As if you see the beauty in everything still, as if you haven't been jaded by the world yet. I knew I wanted to protect you, and I think I got my feelings mixed up in that."

Her admission makes my breath catch, and the sound somehow jerks her back to reality, pulling away from me, her eyes quickly devoid of any emotion. "No," I blurt out, making her snap her gaze back to mine. "No," I say, softer. I stand up, pulling her up with me. "Don't do that, Em, don't shut down on me like that," I whisper. She lets out a breath, dropping her gaze to stare at our hands tangled together.

"It's just easier that way," she breathes. "That's what I thought," I let go of one of her hands and reach to tilt her chin back up to look at me, "But I realized that sometimes instead of trying to fight what's right in front of me to just... give in." This time, her breath catches, and I give her a soft smile. "Emily, I know that you're my boss, and I know that we probably shouldn't, but I-" She cuts me off by surging forward and capturing my lips in a searing kiss.

This kiss is like nothing we've had in the past. It's passionate, domineering, intoxicating. I can't get enough. I melt into her, kissing her back fervently. Her hands wrap around my waist as her tongue swipes across my bottom lip. I let out a soft moan, my lips parting just enough for her to invade my mouth. She claims my mouth as hers, my breath leaving me as she takes over my senses. I have to pull away, much to my frustration, all because I need to breathe.

I stare at her as I catch my breath. She stares back, her eyes blown. She leans in one more time, placing a soft, sweet kiss against my lips. She lingers, pressing her forehead to mine as she whispers, "You don't know how long I've wanted to do that." Her husky voice sends little shivers down my spine. "I think I do, Emily," I breathe. She hums softly, and lets me go, but not before caressing my cheek softly. I lean into her touch, missing it as soon as her hand falls away. She leans against her desk again, biting her lip. "Listen, Angel," she starts. I have to fight the heat that rushes through me at her nickname for me. "I don't do relationships, or fall in love," she takes a breath, "I'm just not that type of person." She tries to continue talking, but I don't let her.

"What you said in the club. Did you mean that? Or was that just a part of our ruse?" I ask, totally throwing her off. "What?" she furrows her brow, clearly not remembering which part of the evening I'm referring to. "You said I was yours. Twice," I press. Recognition dawns across her face. "Oh, that was a part of the ruse," she says, too quickly. "Liar," I call her out, and she stares at me, shocked speechless at my boldness.