two weeks for what? (Solby)

chapter 10

A/N: this chapter contains religion, smoking, fighting, internalized homophobia, and paranormal activity. 

After the whole door incident happened they had a nice conversation with abigail. Soon night time would approach the boys a bit more jumpy along with amanda.

Sam was setting up some equipment off camera and Colby put a hand on his shoulder. Sam jumped but stood up after seeing it was just his best friend. He looked at colbys face, seeing his face making his heart drop, he seemed pissed off.

“Colby is everything ok-?” Sam glanced over to Amanda who seemed to be in her own little world.

“We need to talk.” Colby said his tone was stiff almost as if he was holding back something. Sam felt his heart drop deeper and anxiety creep over him like a black shadow. 

“Okay, Amanda we are stepping outside for a bit.” Sam said and Amanda nodded and smiled at them seeing the look on their faces. She grew concerned but her gut told her to stay. Sam and Colby walked out of the house onto the front porch. 

Colby closed the door after Sam had walked out onto the front porch with him. Sam knew what this conversation was about and it made him feel sick. 

Colby took a deep breath, staring into Sam's eyes.

“This morning never happened. I'm not gay sam.” The words slipped off his tongue like knives and stabbed Sam right in the heart, but what was he to do, he felt something towards Colby that he wished he didn't. The words almost put a sense of relief on him as the words settled in his brain.

“Yeah, I don't like you like that other man… are we good?” Sam said his voice cracking a bit as he felt the pain of holding tears back colby furrowed his brows.

“Hoy shit sam do you actually fucking like me like that?” Colby said seeing the look on Sam's face he turned to walk back into the house. Sam tries to walk after him but falls.

Colby slammed the door causing amanda ro jump. Colby went into the bathroom and gripped the sink looking up at his own reflection in the mirror. He saw past what was just in front of him. He saw the anger he buried deep down for himself. He saw reflections of the mad. 

He felt that same feeling wash over him that felt so far pushed back but so familiar at the same time. Tears fell off his face that he didn't know were there. Why couldn't Sam just be a girl? It would be so much easier. 

 He hated himself. He hated how he felt anger towards the same feeling that he shared. Why did he have to hate himself?

“I think I'm finally getting sad again..” he thought to himself as he whipped the tears from his face.

“Shit!” HE shouted to himself as he took a few deep breaths. He hurt his best friend. He hurt himself. He has to spend a week and 5 more days with his best friend behind a camera. He hated how he hated himself. He hated these feelings he felt when he looked at sam.

He's hated it for a while now. How can you feel hate and love for something at the same time? He liked the flutter he got, but he hated who it was felt for. He wished it wasn't like this if Sam was a girl it would all be different. 

That wasn't the case for the pair. Sam picked himself off of the ground and sat down on the old dusty wood. He let the tears fall. He needed to make things right. He needed to dig a hole for the feelings and hide them.

He needs to lie to colbys face, and that's what he did. He picked his bleeding hands off of the ground and let himself inside only to be met by amanda.

“What the fuck happened.” Were the only words slipped from her mouth. Sam sighed.

“Colby thinks I like him but I don't.” He lied straight to her face. SShe knew something was up but just sat back down. 

Sam walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

“Colby let me in.” He said holding back from showing any emotion.

“Go the fuck away!” Colby shouted, causing Sam to swing the door open. 

“Listen colby-! Holy shit are you crying?!” he said, getting worried.

“Fuck off!” Colby snapped back.

“Listen i know you think i like you but i fucking dont dude! I don't know what was up this morning!” Sam spat out hoping this would fix things. Hoping his stupid pointless lies would fix everything. He hoped collby would just fucking forget about it. 

Colby took a deep breath and looked at him. He fell for it. It hurt him deep down but relieved him knowing he didn't have to worry about mutual feelings and he could start grieving his way. 

HE stayed quiet for a bit and wiped his wet cheeks. He stood up and looked down to sam.

“Sorry for overreacting.. Want to go out for a smoke real quick?” He said. Sam looked up to him and nodded.  The two walked past Amanda outside. Amanda was just sitting there writing in her notebook. She had finished setting up the equipment.

The two walked out, closing the door and Colby handed Sam a cig. 

“Thank you.” He said taking it and putting it in his mouth. Colby followed with his own. They dont smoke often but sometimes it just feels right. Colby lit his own then lit sams for him. That made Sam laugh a bit as the flutter returned to the both of them.

Both had to act like they felt nothing. Sam let out a large puff of smoke, the relaxation settling over him. Colby blew his smoke into Sam's face, a laugh escaping his lips.

“Ok asshole.” Sam said coughing. 

“Oh shut up dont act like you dont to it to me.” Colby responded. 

Sam took another puff of smoke then leaned against the wall.

“Do you think if I smoke enough of these I'll die quicker?” Sam said after blowing more smoke into the air.

“Don't say that dude. You're my best friend. I could never lose you even if we do fight sometimes, man.” Colby responded by taking the last few puffs of smoke from his cigarette. Blowing the smoke away from Sam's face. 

“Thank you man. You're my best friend ma.” Sam said, burning the finished cigarette on  his own side. The sting of the burn  brings a calming feeling over him.

Colby put his owt on the side of the house, crushing it.

“Let's get back to filming. Amanda probably is sick of waiting.” He said as the pair walked back to finish night 3.