Daegelus | Volume One: Subject 0333

Chapter Twenty-Eight | Black Site

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Elijah didn't find himself in The Darkness this time. Instead, he dreamed of Haru; he dreamed that he found the lab they were keeping him in—a lab surrounded by snow and icy mountains. He dreamed that he carried the man he loved to safety, getting him as far from the doctors as he could.

He knew that it was a dream, but he didn't care. He didn't want to wake up. It had been over a year since he last saw Haru in the real world, a year since he'd been able to touch and feel him. Dreams and memories were the only way he got to see him now, and despite his determination, there was still that small part of him that wondered if he really would find him, if he really would get to see him again, feel him again, hold him again.

As the despair built up inside him, he gazed at Haru's face. He looked just like he did the last time Elijah saw him...before he was taken away. He tried to speak, he tried to tell him that he loved him—he never got to say it before—but no words left his mouth, and it wasn't like it mattered. It wasn't real. Haru had never heard him say those words, and saying them in a dream was pointless, wasn't it? He wished he'd told him while he still had the chance.

Elijah woke on his own. As he opened his eyes and stared at the roof of the truck, his heart ached and felt heavy in his chest. When he lost Haru, he lost a part of himself; he felt empty, and not just because he didn't know who or what he was. He'd lost the only thing that made sense to him, the only thing that made his cursed existence worth living, and the only thing that got him through all those years of pain and torture.

Knowing that Haru was still trapped, knowing that he was still being hurt by those doctors...it sickened Elijah, it made him hate himself, and the guilt weighed heavier than the dismay. But overwhelming himself with his emotions wasn't going to help Haru, and it wasn't going to help him. He was doing everything he could.

He just...had to try harder. Maybe he should have ignored everything that led him off his path. Haru was more important than his need to know who he was; he should have just left Zoe and Jake. He'd have time to work out his heritage once he saved Haru. But no. He chose to bring those two along, and it had only slowed him down. It had all only made him worse off. If he'd not dragged them along with him, he might already be in East Coast—he might have already found Haru.

The demon sighed quietly and dragged his hand over his face.

"You can't sleep, either?" Zoe asked.

He glanced at her; she lay there wide awake while her dog snored in her lap. Jake was snoring, too, and the sound made Elijah grimace. There wasn't much he could do about it, though. He'd rather Jake be snoring than yapping his big mouth.

"You should be sleeping," Elijah mumbled.

"Yeah, I know. But I can't," she said with a shrug. "Why can't you sleep?"

He didn't want to answer, so he dismissed her with a grunt and turned his head to glare out the window.

"Are you feeling sick?" she asked.

Elijah exhaled deeply. "No," he muttered. "Is there...a specific way I'm supposed to get into The Darkness again? Now that I actually want to be there, I'm just having normal dreams."

Zoe frowned. "Normal how?"

"Just...dreams, I don't know."

"Are you sure it was a dream?"

He sighed again and glared up at the roof. "I found Haru, and I got him out of the lab. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure it was a dream."

The girl adorned a sympathetic look as she turned her head away. After a few moments, though, she set her eyes back on him and asked, "What's Haru like?"