August - (Under Editing)

12. Augustine

I remember thinking I had you...

At 9:00 at night, I crept along the creaky stairs and out the front door. I made my way down to the beach, the flashlight on my phone and the moon my source of light.

Reaching the sand, I sat down on my towel and gazed at the water, the waves rippling from the breeze. I sighed in relaxation, reveling in the nightly peace. I was a bit nervous of what James had planned for me, but I mostly trusted him at this point. I was scared to become close with him, after what happened with Inez, but he wasn't like her at all.

Except Inez wasn't "like that" when we were friends. Maybe this is a bad idea.

*Last April*

"Inez!" I called out, desperately needing to talk to her. I brushed away the hair that stuck to my forehead and unsuccessfully tried to subtly fan out my shirt.

She turned her head to look at me. Her shiny blond hair spilled across her shoulders, as her bright red lips spread and smiled at me.

"Ah, Auggie," her sugary tone made me want to cry. Not again, I thought.

"What are you doing here?" she continued, gesturing to the scene around us. "This isn't exactly your crowd." The pounding music vibrated into my brain, and the people shoving each other mixed with couples making out wasn't pleasant to me.

I glared at her, despite the hurt that consumed me. "It wasn't your crowd either," I spoke loudly over the blaring music. I thought nothing could bring me to a high school house party, but apparently I cared too much about my best friend.

"It is now," she replied, her blue eyes shining into mine. She took a sip of god-knows-what as her posse giggled.

I stood stock-still facing her. "Inez, please," I practically begged. "What happened to you? Why have you been so distant with me?"

She stepped closer, the scent of alcohol surrounding me. Her eyes bore into mine for what felt like an eternity. "Augustine, just go. We're done," she said finally.

"Don't do this, Inez," I said, tears beginning to leak out of my eyes. "I thought we were best friends."

"You mean nothing to me," she spat. "Go home. No one wants you here."

I couldn't stop the tears, no matter how hard I tried. I turned and shoved through the dimly-lit hallway and through the living room. I stepped on dropped solo cups and barged past teenagers dancing and grinding up against each other.

As I tore home, more and more tears dripped down my face. I couldn't believe she'd treated me like that. I didn't care her friends saw. No amount of embarrassment could've hurt worse than her words.

I ran along the sidewalk, tears blurring my vision. My body shook, and I knew I'd lost the one person I always counted on. I still didn't know what changed. One day we were watching old movies in our pjs. The next, she was saddled up next to some new friend group and didn't care about me at all.

Her friendship was my saving grace. I hated school, besides English class, my parents barely acknowledged me, and I was beyond overwhemled with life. She was my light.

Maybe it wasn't her lack of friendship that bothered me. Maybe I cared in a different way.

*

I wiped away a stray tear that slowly ran down my cheek. After Inez had ditched me, I vowed to never let anyone become that close to me. She ruined the remainder of my junior year, as well as the beginning of my summer. I hoped a month on PEI could fix that, but James was tearing down every wall I had worked so hard to build.