❗WARNING: FOR ADULTS ONLY❗
VIRGINITY
Narinig ko na ang pag click ng door knob, hudyat na dumating na sya.
I fixed myself first before going out, naglagay pa ako ng face powder to cover my oily face and to look fresh followed by applying lip gloss. Natatawa pa ako sa ginagawa ko.
Why i'm still making an effort to impress him? kahit ang gusto ko lang naman ay ma-turn on sya but can't get rid of the fact that he will just turn off later on.
Ang hilaw ko na ngiti gradually faded and was replaced by disappointment. Hanggang sa ang mga make up at brushes na nasa harap ko ay malakas kong itinabig at tuluyan na akong bumigay. I cried so hard that i couldn't stop crying.
Sobrang bigat, wala akong katuwang, ayaw ko mahusgahan, ayaw ko mapagtawanan lalo na kung ang dahilan ay si Xan.
"Cameia, open the door!"
Napatingin ako sa pinto na malakas na kinakalabog ni Xan, tinitingnan ko lang iyon until it was completely opened.
Mula sa pagkakasalampak ko sa sahig ay mabilis ako na dinaluhan ni Xan at niyakap.
"Don't touch me!" singhal ko sa kanya dahilan para maitulak ko sya palayo sa akin.
"What happened to you, a?"
I saw deep concern and sympathy in his eyes but i don't want to believe it because that's when i fall in love with him.
"Ito ang gusto mo diba? ang makita akong nasasaktan!" i shouted at him.
"Well, congratulations, you succeded" i could barely hear those words coming from me.
"I hate you, Xan. I hate, you" i said between my sobs.
"Bakit ganyan nalang ang galit mo sa akin?" sya.
"I hate you for loving you! But i hate myself more. Alam mo kung bakit?" i looked at him so that our eyes met.
"Because i let myself love you" i cried even louder!
From behind, i felt Xan's tight hug on me. I tried to remove his arms that were wrapped around my waist but he is much stronger than me.
"Sorry if i hurt you, sorry if i broke your heart into pieces. Sorry" he whispered in my ear.
His breath hitting my skin screams betrayal at my failure, natatakot ako na mas lalo ko pang maipagkanulo ang sarili ko kaya bago pa mahuli ang lahat......
"Let go of me!" i shouted at him, so that i can hide the fact that little by little his power will take over me again.
"No! i won't let you go until you're ok" mas lalong humigpit ang yakap nya sa akin.
"Sa tingin mo magiging ok ako?" in regretful tone.
"Yes, because you are braver than me" i feel his little kisses on my ear.
"What i petty you are" sabi ko sa mga hikbi ko.
From my behind he let go of me and he went infront of me, ikinulong nya ang mukha ko sa kanyang mga palad.
"Is it hard to love me?" with soft sobs.
"No, it's not hard to love you"
"But why can't you love me back?" can be seen in my tears the question, why?
His eyes that looking at my eyes gradually lowered, at the same time he loosened his grip on my my face.
"Kung mawawala ba ako ay magiging masaya ka?"
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