You Must Remember This

Chapter 53 - Bitter Suite

Wakanda, 2016

It wasn't until Steve sat down with Lucas in the room adjacent to Bucky's that he faced the harshness of time having escaped him. Though Lucas yet bore a distinguished allure with his dapper clothing style and neatly combed silver hair, the years and all he had lived through had taken a heavy toll on him. The weariness in his wrinkled eyes and the way his shoulders — the same shoulders that once effortlessly and proudly carried the weight of the working class man's struggles — hunched made Steve pause. 

"Do you want to rest a little first?" he asked. 

"I thought you were in a hurry?" retorted Lucas.

"I am, but I understand if you need a moment."

The old man harrumphed, revealing a glimmer of his youthful self. "I'll take a moment when I'm dead. And you deserve answers."

"But Bucky doesn't? I don't get it, Lucas. You clearly knew he was still alive, and that he was the Winter Soldier. Why do you blame him for something he had no control over?"

"Didn't he? Evelyn told me how she broke through to him. How he and the Soldier were even consciously switching between themselves."

"The reprogramming took a heavy toll the second time around," reasoned Steve. "HYDRA reconditioned him completely, even putting him through their messed-up version of aversion therapy so he'd get physically hurt whenever he even thought about Evy."

With that, some of the harshness in Lucas' eyes mellowed. "I'm sorry Bucky went through that. Really, I am. But it doesn't change anything that happened. And I'm not just talking about him handing Evelyn over to the Winter Soldier like a rotten coward. She suffered for every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of her life. Always on the run, always looking over her shoulder, unable to return to what she worked so passionately for, or to even... S-She couldn't..."

Lucas' trembling lips pressed together, and he shook his head to compose himself. Steve wanted to comfort him, but he didn't want to risk Lucas shutting down completely. The only person he had ever trusted enough to reveal his true self to was Evelyn. Steve understood better than anyone he still grieved for her. But Evelyn was the very reason he had to make Lucas talk. Her and Nemesis. They were connected; he was certain of it.

"Let's take it one step at a time," Steve said kindly, "and start with Evy. Did she seek you out after she got away from HYDRA?"

"Yes," answered Lucas with a deep breath. "I'll never forget that night."

"Tell me. Please."

"It was just a regular Friday. I stayed after hours at this underground speakeasy where I sometimes played piano to help clean up. When I got home, she was waiting for me."

***

Brooklyn, October 11, 1946

Peggy and Howard hadn't liked the idea of Evelyn returning to Brooklyn, even if it was just for one night. It was too soon after her escape. Zola undoubtedly sent out agents to retrieve his golden goose, counting on her 'weakness as a woman' and being home-sick. But she hadn't gone back to the little ground-floor apartment she'd shared with her twin. That place hadn't felt like home since Steve went missing. And she refused to put her neighbors at risk.

Rebecca and George deserve to know, though, she mused as she sat in the dark. But they won't be at peace knowing Bucky's with HYDRA, with no chance of rescue. They already grieved for him once, and I don't want to give them false hope, just like Stark did with me. As long as I can't bring him home, they can't know.