A Man, a Girl, a Deserted Island - - A Crazy Epic Love Saga

Episode 2: Coconut tree vs Palm tree

Hmm... Nice tavern!

It's not bad here, it's warm, the bartender smiles friendly, and the two girls at the table on the right are quietly minding their own business.

I'm on my second drink and eavesdropping. I understand that one of them went hot air ballooning in the Czech Republic. She's still enthusiastic about it.

I have good peripheral vision, so I "photograph" them from head to toe and quickly realize that they're exceptional girls.

For me, any woman who slaps makeup on her face is... exceptional. If she dyes her hair purple or pink, if she cakes on tons of flour, if she puts on garish lipstick, if she applies false eyelashes and has long painted nails, then it's clear: I'm dealing with an exceptional woman. Exceptional compared to normal women.

The two girls also have nose rings, so they're even more exceptional.

All my life I've run away like hell from exceptional women, so I'll just mind my own business and find something harmless to look at.

For example, the poster behind the bartender. It's cute. It's a large, beautiful poster of a wonderful beach, white and clean. Blue waves all around the island and a few coconut trees in the middle of it. Or maybe they're palm trees. No, they're definitely coconut trees. Or... maybe palm trees. Actually, what's the difference between a coconut tree and a palm tree?

But what does it matter? It must be so warm and nice on a beach like that. It's Paradise!

With my eyes on the island - Paradise, I order the third glass of vodka, and suddenly my stomach punches me hard. I'm afraid it's time to eat, so I ask the bartender to put some tomato juice in the fourth glass and point with a finger to the poster:

"Blessed are the people who live there. I envy them. A beach like that is... stronger than a hot air balloon ride."

The bartender, in his twenties, smiles, shrugs, and goes about his business. The exceptional girls on my right ordered coffees. The smell of fresh coffee conquers the entire room. I like it.

It's very warm and nice in this bar. Almost as warm and nice as on the island in the poster. I'm getting sleepy. I want to laze around like those people, in loungers, on the island with fine sand.

Maybe I should order a coffee while waiting for a travel idea. Today, I'm leaving, whatever happens! I'm not delaying a second longer.

I wonder what it's like in Dubai now? I wonder, like, imagine, to be warm all the time, to bask in the sun all day. Isn't it true that the winters here kill any desire to live?

I really don't know much about Dubai," he calmly replies, "but I was in Thailand a year ago, and I assure you it was a very... hot experience."

He smiles with all his teeth and winks at me.

"Are you gay?" I ask him directly.

"No," he looks surprised. "Not at all."

"You made eyes at me."

"Oh," he laughs, "was that it? I made eyes because I had the chance to meet a lot of cute girls on the beach in Phuket. That's why."

I realize I'm getting drunk because I'm now sitting next to this stranger and blabbering nonsense. When I start babbling, that's the first warning sign: babbling.

The second sign is that my knees get weak. Finally, the grand finale, dizziness and, of course, headaches. All in one package.

I must give up today in the end. I'm a serious man and I have work to do: I have to leave.