A Man, a Girl, a Deserted Island - - A Crazy Epic Love Saga

Episode 5: Fucking Damn Tourette's Syndrome!

"I'm sorry for swearing! I swear it wasn't intentional! Today I hit my head in a taxi, I confess. But that's not all, you're right. Sometimes I talk to myself without realizing it. Moreover, I read somewhere about a disease that makes you constantly say obscenities, without your will. It's called...

"Tourette's Syndrome," she says, looking at me intently as she throws the book in the trash can. "A disease discovered by a French doctor."

"I could have sworn he was French!" I exclaim disgustedly, then retrieve the book from the trash can and show her the name on the cover. "See? And the author of this book is also French. Do you want to read it? I've finished with it. I mean, I haven't finished it, but I'm finished with it!"

She looks at me and seems to hold back a smile.

"No, thank you, sir! You just said it's full of disgusting stuff."

"Ugh! It's just garbage with lots of sex and violence scenes."

"Then I don't want it," she says, rummaging through her purse. "Throw it back in the trash, sir. I'm sorry you suffer from Tourette's syndrome," she adds, closing her purse. She shows me a cigarette. "What do you say? Will you watch my luggage for two minutes?"

I think she's a bit foolish. She jumps to conclusions too quickly.

"But I don't suffer from any syndrome," I say irritably. "Did I say that? No! I just said that 'I read somewhere' about such a disease."

"Of course!" she quickly confirms, nodding. "Well? What do you say? Will you watch my luggage for a bit while I go smoke a cigarette?"

"Maybe I'll look, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll fall asleep... who knows? The truth is, I'm exhausted, and it's very likely that I'll doze off. The only thing that kept me awake until now was that book with perversions."

"Yes, but... Can you..."

"Yes, I know... I know. The cigarette, the luggage! Why don't you leave me a minute to finish my thought? You said you're going to smoke, not go to the bathroom. Why are you in such a hurry? Ah, I guessed it: you're going to the bathroom to smoke. Kill two birds with one stone."

The woman looks at me for a few seconds, then sighs, puts the cigarette back in her purse, and sits back in her seat.

"All right," she says with a sour face. "Forget about the cigarette. What were you saying?"

"Nothing. I was rambling. Look, even sleep has deserted me, so yes, you can go smoke peacefully. I'll watch your luggage. I'll guard them like my life depends on it. I won't move from beside them."

"But you don't have any luggage."

"I don't."

"And you want to watch mine?"

"Not me. You want to. You insist."

"Well, I hadn't noticed that you don't have any luggage. I just noticed now."

I slowly turn my head towards her and blink in amazement.

"Okay. And? What's the connection? So what if I don't have luggage?"

"Nothing!" she quickly says, then falls silent.

She takes out a newspaper and buries her nose in it. I look at her amazed for a few seconds and suddenly understand. I burst out laughing.

"I got it!"

"What's so funny?" she asks.

"I understand what's up with the luggage," I say amused. "The penny just dropped."