A Man, a Girl, a Deserted Island - - A Crazy Epic Love Saga

Episode 7: Conversations in the Dark

I think it's two in the morning. Something like that.

I grope for the lamp with my hand, then give up. I try to find the bathroom in the dark. I'm half asleep, but if I don't pee now, something inside me will surely explode.

My roommate was kind enough to lend me one of her t-shirts and a pair of her sweatpants. I'll try not to stain them too much."

I look in the mirror. With these clothes on me, I look like a woman a bit wider in the back and with a buzz cut. I'm going to have some nasty dreams, darn it!

I grumble as I return and lie down. I fall asleep instantly, but an elbow in my ribs wakes me up just as instantly.

"Either you flush after you pee, or you flush after you pee. Choose!"

I choose to flush.

What a thing! Of course, I always flush after I pee, dummy! This time, however, I didn't want to wake you up. I did it for you. But no worries! I'll wake up every hour to pee and flush loudly. I hope you're happy!

I dive terrified into bed and doze off. For about five seconds.

"Did you know you fart when you sleep?" she asks loudly, turning from left to right.

"Extraordinary!" I mumble with my eyes closed. "I really didn't know. Next time I'll listen more carefully while I sleep."

I feel the bed rocking with me.

"Yes, that's right, listen to yourself. And, to complete the picture, you also talk in your sleep."

"Fine. Please, write me an email with everything you don't like about me. I'll read it tomorrow morning when I wake up. I mean, this morning. Damn it!"

"You're still a jerk," she concludes, turning back to the left. The bed creaks and groans.

"Excuse me, angelic and immaculate being that you are! I confess with great embarrassment that I snore and fart in my sleep, and I admit that sometimes I talk in my sleep. Yes, I deeply regret it. Can I sleep now? I paid for half of the room and half of the creaky bed. And, as a bonus, I also flushed the toilet.

"You haven't paid anything yet," she responds, giggling. "I haven't seen any money from you, so you're at my mercy. If I want, I can throw you out of the room right this second. Do you want to see?" I open my eyes. It's hard for me to adjust to the darkness in the room. After a few seconds, I see her back. She's wearing striped pajamas, but I can't determine the exact color of the stripes.

"So you want me to leave?" I ask, still drowsy.

"I was joking," she giggles. "But you woke me up when you went to the bathroom, and now I can't fall back asleep. And if I can't sleep, at least let's talk, shall we?

"Have a conversation in the middle of the night?"

"Yep. Shall we?"

"Oh, Lord, no! In the morning, I have to wake up and decide whether to go to Dubai or Thailand. I need a clear mind."

"Dubai? Ha, ha... You're such a big liar."

"Believe what you want. But now that you're awake, I'll take the opportunity to ask you..."

"What?"

"Don't you have something strong in those big suitcases."

"No."

"I could have sworn you didn't."

"Why?"

"Because you don't seem like the type to drink hard liquor. In fact, you seem like a very quiet woman."