When a poor man turned forty-four, he decided to sell everything and go on a big adventure. All he wants is peace and a sunny place!
But, no matter how beautiful a man's plans may be, a woman will always have the power to turn them upside down.
The...
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I step outside into the sun and look for a taxi. I find one.
I am terribly proud of my new look. I look like a true tourist. Actually, I am indeed a true tourist.
I just need a shower, as my skin is itching from all the sweating. But why a shower? I'll go straight to the beach and dive into the waves. I'll find a sunny beach and have a great swim there. I won't get out of that salty water for ten hours. I'll wash with it, gargle with it, give myself an enema...
The lifeguards will have to drag me out forcibly. But I'll jump back into the water. I want to splash around! I want waves as big as houses! Damn the lifeguards! Not even the Thai police can get me out of there.
There aren't many taxis left in the airport parking lot. I quickly spot one. I run towards it so no one else takes it.
"Take me to the nearest beach," I tell the taxi driver as I flop onto the seat. Come on, man, I'm in a hurry! You understand English, don't you? Beach? Sand... Water?
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The guy reads one of those newspapers written in gibberish. He closes it and looks at me over his shoulder as if I've fallen from the moon. What's with him? What's wrong?
Ugh, why do I always run into these types?
The small, yellowish guy stares at me weirdly. Maybe he's sick. Maybe he's deaf. I think I need to take it slower, with a gentler spirit. English is too difficult for Asians. They're smaller, so their brains are a bit smaller too.
So I explain to him like to a dumb child:
"Hey, buddy! I'm a European tourist," I say, pointing to myself. "You beach, me give you muuuch money! Okay? Understand? Beach? Sand?"
I make the international sign for money.
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