A Man, a Girl, a Deserted Island - - A Crazy Epic Love Saga

Episode 19: The Woman Killer

After just three glasses, I'm already chummy with the Frenchman. It feels like we've known each other forever. Vive la France! The French are good guys. The best! The cream of Europe.

With this occasion, our tongues loosen, and I quickly find out why Jean-Louis is upset with women. It's clear: his girlfriend dumped him this morning.

"Unconscious woman!" I exclaim. "You don't dump a pilot. You just can't do that. Unless you're, in your words, Jean-Louis, a whore."

"Dammed!" Jean-Louis grumbles.

"A dime a dozen woman," I confirm with a hiccup.

"You're not leaving me, you whore! I'm leaving you! You don't deserve me! Actually, that's how it was. If I remember correctly, I was the one who left her. But I was generous and let her believe it was the other way around."

"If you were generous, it means you loved her."

"Ah, I loved her like crazy," he confesses. "That's why I let her go."

"That's right!"

"If you truly love a woman," the Frenchman explains to me, "you fuck her quickly and then run as fast as your legs can carry you."

I look at him amazed.

"Really?"

"Parole d'honneur!"

"I didn't know about that rule. And why, pray tell? Why run?"

"How old are you, mon ami?"

"I'm young. I'm forty-four."

"I'm thirty-two, but much more experienced. Let me teach you... hic... how things work with women."

"Yes, indeed! Teach me!"

My pilot starts to show off. Now he's a big expert in women.

"First of all," he says, raising a finger, "you should never keep a woman a prisoner in a relationship. If you're a true gentleman, you fuck her, pull up your pants, and leave without looking back."

"That sounds kind of absurd. Explain it to me. Why like that?"

"Well, to... set them free. No one can be happy if they're someone's slave. Love in chains? Bullshit! That's not possible!"

"Yeah, that's about right," I acknowledge. "When you're right, you're right!"

We sit and listen to the sea. Jean-Louis suddenly loses interest in talking. I feel the lounger gently swaying under me. I close my eyes. I'm about to fall asleep.

The waves flow one after another. Each silently chews on its own problems. I don't know what time it is, but who cares? Even the wind has stopped. You only hear the clinking of glasses now and then. I feel drowsy, but Jean-Louis seems to wake up with every drink.

"I loved that bitch so much!" he bursts into tears, shaking his shoulders, and the glass trembles in his hand. It's not a pretty sight.

I lose sleep. Again.

"Jean-Louis, stop crying!" I encourage him. "Forget it. Can't you see you're spilling your drink on the sand? It's a shame."

"Damn it! Je m'en fou! Look, I'm not crying anymore, but I'm pissed off! You invest everything you have... you put your heart... and everything goes to hell because she wants it that way. Shit! But who is she to tell me it's over?"

"Exactly! Who is she?"

"She's a... nobody! A cow! A dime-a-dozen woman with a wider pussy than the Andamar Sea. A stupid cow. Imagine what I could have loved! But what didn't I give her? Why wasn't she satisfied? A damned spoiled brat! And she was wider than a bucket, damn it! When I was in her, it was like... fucking a bag."