When a poor man turned forty-four, he decided to sell everything and go on a big adventure. All he wants is peace and a sunny place!
But, no matter how beautiful a man's plans may be, a woman will always have the power to turn them upside down.
The...
Lord, I know I've been a two-faced scoundrel, but help me! Your Mother, Christ, and whoever else is up there, help me! The madman is killing me! I promise to be a good Christian! I'll pay my tithe to the church, and I'll go to sing in the choir every Sunday! Where are you, Lord, when I need you!? Your servant is calling you!
Damn it, my legs feel like stone. Fucking sleeping pills!
"I know karate!" I half-mouth to Jean-Louis as a warning.
"Let me show you some karate! I'll show you right now!" he rages and flexes his biceps.
He's insane.
"Help!"
The beach is deserted. Anurat has disappeared. I'm doomed.
Lord, if You have mercy and help me this time, I swear I won't touch a drop of alcohol for as many days as I have left. I'll be sober. I'll hate booze! And pills!
Let the sharks eat me if I'm lying to You!
Suddenly, my legs come to life, so I manage to roll to the left and land on all fours. I quickly grab a handful of sand and throw it in the madman's eyes.
"You jerk!" he yells.
I crawl on all fours to save my life. Jean-Louis rages and rushes towards me, but he falls onto my deck chair like an oak tree felled by a cowardly axe. As he falls, he hits his chin on the edge of the deck chair. There's an unmistakable sound of clashing teeth!
So, God exists! He just saved a Christian from the lion's mouth!
For a brief moment, there is peace and quiet on the beach again. The Frenchman slowly raises his eyes towards me. He has a blurry look like a dog hit with a mallet.
"I think I've..."
But how stupid? Does he think he can fool me? I stand proudly on all fours at a safe distance from him. I look at him like a beast because I know he's going to attack and kill me any moment now.
Jean-Louis spits and groans. He wipes the sand from his eyes and spits incessantly as if he's eaten pepper.
"Damn... idiot!" he curses. "I bit my tongue!"
"Of course you did, you cock sucker!" I growl, waving the empty bottle in the air. "I have a black belt in... hmm... something. I'll break you in half! I'm not afraid of you! God is on my side!"
"It's serious," he groans. "I feel it's serious. I bit it really hard. My brain got scrambled. I saw green stars."
"Poor you... Does it hurt?"
"Yes."
"I'm glad, you mother fucker! You just found out that life isn't fair. What can I tell you..."
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Seeing the blood-filled mouth he shows me, I feel my hair standing on end. I throw the bottle away and slowly crawl on all fours towards him.
"Jean-Louis, show me your tongue. Come on, open your mouth. That's it, good job. Oh, dear, close it now. So, you weren't lying! Mm... it's the tongue... you bit it a little."
