PULSE [H.S]

073

"You are quite a beauty, Kizalyn," he says as he sits back in his chair again. He says, "I've heard you and Harry have grown quite fond of one another."

The table in front of me has bottles of liquor on it, along with a silver briefcase that's currently closed. There's an ashtray too, with freshly put out cigarettes in it.

What's in that briefcase?

Harry's voice is eerily steady as he says, "Why's she here, Richard? This doesn't involve her."

Richard turns to him and points a finger at him as he nods and says, "A few years ago, I remember you telling me that loving anyone in this world is foolish." He smiles a wicked smile and laughs out, "Didn't you say that, Styles?"

Harry grumbles, "Sounds like me."

"Yet you love her," Richard exclaims as he points his finger back at me. Harry's gripping the arm rests of his chair so hard that his knuckles are white. Richard says, "Don't you?"

Harry's voice is ice cold as he says, "She's no different than any other girl I've run through."

His words slice through my heart like a double edged sword. Even though I know he is bluffing for both of our sakes, it still stings.

Richard laughs loudly. He says, "I'm no fool, Styles. You tried to undercut me with this deal. I should kill you for even trying to deceive me."

"Then kill me," Harry says flatly.

There are guards all around the room, standing up straight with their eyes trained directly in front of them. I know Leo stands behind me still, I can feel his lurking presence.

Richard smirks, "Now where's the fun in that?"

"What do you want?" Harry seethes.

My stomach churns, and I feel like I could empty the contents in me at any moment now. There's a weird smell in here, and I don't like it.

Harry, please have a plan to get us out of here.

"We used to have a lot of fun together, didn't we, Styles?" he says with an intimidating tone. He says, "We used to play around with girls all night, drinking until we were obliterated. What happened to that Harry? You're all business now, never any fun."

Harry says, "I'm not nineteen anymore."

My head spins at the thought of Harry 'messing around' with girls in the same state as this woman. The Harry I know would never do that. He wouldn't take advantage of someone like that, he has always respected women.

Richard turns to the girl next to him. She's high out of her mind. She probably doesn't even know where she is. I can see the needle marks on her forearm where she's been injected with whatever drugs are coursing through her system.

I wonder who she was before this, before the drugs. She was someone's daughter, someone's friend. She was someone.

He strokes her cheek gently, running his fingers over her skin. She looks at him, her eyes drooping. He says, "They're so much easier like this, Styles. They do whatever you want, so long as you give them their next fix."

The taste of bile rises to my throat, and I have to swallow it back down. I want to cry for this girl. He turned her into an addict, and now he controls her. She's not even a person anymore.

"I've always liked you, boy. You've always been loyal, never let any distractions get in your way," Richard says. "I'm willing to forget this ever happened if you prove to me that you are still loyal only to yourself and Bloodstone."

I never should have come here tonight. I'm an idiot for making Harry bring me. I gave this man exactly what he needed to bend Harry to his will. He knows what I mean to Harry and what Harry means to me.

Harry was right; love is a weakness.

Love is weaponized in this world.

It makes me sick.

Richard pulls out a syringe filled with some type of liquid substance. The girl lunges for it, trying desperately to grab it from his hands. Her eyes are fixed on it, and she's looking at it like she needs it to live.

He tuts, "Uh, uh. Be patient, girl."

The girl frowns, sinking back into the seat. Her eyes light up when Richard takes the cap off of the syringe, revealing the needle beneath it. He grabs her arm and injects the clear liquid into her. She relaxes immediately, her eyes rolling backwards. A smile takes over her face.

Richard takes out another syringe and holds it up as he looks at me. It dawns on me what he wants to happen.

He wants me to be like her.

Richard says to Harry, "She looks like she could use a fix, doesn't she?"

No.

This can't be happening.

I shake my head, saying, "No, please. I don't want whatever is in that—"

"Hush, dear," Richard silences me. He says, "You'll love it."

Drugs.

I've always stayed away from them. I've witnessed first-hand what even one dose can do to someone. It changes them forever, totally wiping away the person they used to be. It turns them into addicts.

It kills them. It killed my mom.

I look at Harry, but he isn't looking at me. His face is hard as he says, "I'm not fucking doing that."

Richard places the syringe on the table between us, leaving it there. The object stares at me, taunting me. It has the power to completely destroy my life as I know it.

Harry won't let this happen.

He wouldn't. He knows addiction is in my blood.

"Let me be clear," Richard says as he leans forward, looking directly at Harry. His voice is lethal as he says, "She walks out of here high, or she doesn't walk out of here at all, and you lose a business partner for Elias."

I can't breathe.

The tears fall down my face.

Harry is silent, and he still doesn't look at me.

Richard says, "It's okay, boy. We all need an occasional reminder of what's important. Distractions are fine if you know when to cut them loose."

I look at Harry, waiting for him to say something, or do anything to get us out of this. I wait for him to make a move to get us out of here. I wait for him to save us from this situation and take us home.

I wait for him to fight for me.

But his eyes are cold.

And he picks up the syringe in his hands.

"Harry," I say, breathing heavily. "No, please."

The world is spinning as I see my future flash before my eyes. My mom was an addict. It's in my blood and in my genes. I will be an addict too.

Harry stands up.

I try to stand too. I make it to my feet, but before I can dash for the door, Leo grabs me, slamming me back down into the chair. He presses down on my shoulders, pinning me in place so I can't move.

I can't breathe.

I can't think.

Harry stands in front of me.

I look up at him, my vision blurred by my tears. I shake my head at him, sobbing. I beg him, "Don't do this to me. Please don't do this to me."

There has to be another way. There has to be a way that we both walk out of here alive without that syringe going into my body. There has to be. I look directly at him, pleading with my eyes. He finally looks at me, his face cold. His eyes are pained, but the rest of him is emotionless.

"Harry, don't," I cry. "You can't do this."

He knows what this would do to me. I wait for him to turn around and slam the needle into Richard's neck, to pull out his gun and shoot Leo. But there's so many guards, and he is only one person.

"Harry," I say weakly, my voice breaking.

Richard says to me with an evil voice, "It's okay, girl. Everything will be okay soon, you'll see."

One dose.

One hit.

One moment.

That's all it takes for someone to become an addict. I've always known it. One moment can change your life, and this is that moment for me. This is the moment that my life changes forever.

I see it in Harry's eyes. He's hopeless. He's given up.

I give up too, slumping in my chair. We all have a choice, always. There's never just one option, there's always another choice that can be made. Another outcome.

"Just kill me," I beg him. I would rather be dead than live a life like my mom lived. It's not worth it. This would kill me eventually, anyway. I say, "I don't want this. Please, Harry, just kill me."

His eyes are hard. He still stands in front of me, staring down at me with those green eyes.

I stare at the man I love. I look at the love of my life, at the most important person in my life. He's my everything, but he's about to take everything from me.

I plead, "Don't do this to me."

A hand is clamped over my mouth. Leo silences me, taking away my voice and my power to beg for my life. The tears flow down my face, wetting his hand.

There has to be another way.

Please.

I stare at Harry. I look up at him, trying to beg him with my eyes, but I can't find him. I can't find the Harry that I love right now. All I see is the man from that night at the gym. The emotionless Harry who shot Jimmy without any hesitation.

I stare at him.

I stare into the green abyss.

I see green as he takes another step towards me, green as he takes the cap off the syringe, green as he flicks the syringe with his finger, and green as he grabs my arm.

I see green as he meets my gaze one more time.

My heart breaks.

My life shatters.

The tears fall as the syringe nears my arm. He pushes the needle into my skin, a pinching feeling coming from the contact.

I see green. Green as he ruins my life.

Green as he pushes the plunger rod as far down as it can go.

Green as the liquid substance leaves the syringe and enters my body.

Green as the syringe is then removed from my forearm.

I feel it immediately.

A euphoric feeling floods through me, a wave of pleasure gliding over every inch of my skin, filling me from head to toe.

It's a rush.

Shit.

I've never felt this good before.

I slump in my chair, letting the high consume me.

I let the drug take over, embracing it. This incredible feeling of peace and calmness overwhelms me.

I've never known peace like this before.

The world is lighter, brighter, better.

Woah, the clock tattoo on this guy's arm is melting off of him.

I smile.

This is fucking amazing.