Intertwined

The Devil is Human

'Well if that isn't the best sound I've ever heard sweetheart,' and she walked over and kissed my cheek, before grabbing a water so my throat wasn't so dry.

'Thank you Mia,' her phone rang and it was Niko, so she gave me another peck on the cheek and answered.
'Hey ugly,' she jokes with him. They're like siblings and have been since school and unlike Reece, Mia never dated Niko. When I first asked her about that she said 'Ewww Sweetheart. That would be gross. When I'm with Niko, it's like I'm one of the boys'. I smiled watching her talk with a cheeky sparkle in her eyes.

I could feel an itch on my skin under the new dressing. I looked down at my arm and leg where the skin graft surgery had just been done. Despite the fact that my body was healing, I felt ashamed I would have these scars. Not ashamed of my body not being perfect, but ashamed at what had happened. I had this feeling that I should have done more to stop him and the scars reminded me that I had been weak, worried me, that maybe I was weak.

I tried to shake off those thoughts for the moment and looked at my beautiful Mia. She turned back around and I held up both of my arms to ask for a hug. Now I no longer had a cast on one arm, I could wrap them both around her. I looked at my girlfriend and pouted my lips.
'Bye Niko, see you soon,' she hung up the phone and flashed me a smile, then pretended to be exasperated with my needy behaviour. 'If I must sweetheart'.
I squeezed my arms around her and hummed into her chest. She stroked my hair and down my back. 'You're amazing,' I whispered to her. She rested her hands on my waist and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.

'You're amazing sweetheart,' she kissed me again and put one hand on my face. Her touch made me feel safe. 'Niko and Bella are bringing the girls in later'. She knew I needed to have some time with Grace and Evie. It had been a big week with physical therapies and the surgery and I hadn't seen the girls as they had been away for the week with their Dad on holiday.

I gave a little squeal of excitement and sighed with relief and happiness as she reminded me my babies were coming in today. Mia smiled, 'I bet they can't wait to see you either, baby,' and she gave me a quick peck before reaching to hold my right hand. As her hand reached across Mia accidentally touched the side of my right thigh and I jolted away from her and gasped.
'Sweetheart, I'm sorry,' she said looking sad remembering that was where Adam had burned his initial into my flesh.
'I just. It makes me feel like I want to jump out of my skin,' I clenched my jaw and felt my breath heavier in my chest. I was embarrassed that I had ruined a loving, so normal moment. We couldn't hold hands now without me even being thrown into awful memories.

As if mocking my brief happiness Adam flashed in my vision, like he was in front of me, his face, his words, his anger, his sick glee as he hurt me. My eyes were open and then closed and open again, but I couldn't get this image of him out of my mind. I rubbed my eyes as hard as I could. Mia was trying to speak to me and hold my hands. 'Sweetheart, it's ok. You're safe,' she tried to place my hands on her chest, but I wasn't panicking I was furious.

What she said triggered me as Adam flashed in front of me, now in a different place in the room. Safe? She said I was safe.

'No, Mia. I'm not safe. My mind is fucked up. He's in my head, I feel like he's here, and I'm NOT safe,' I wasn't angry at her, but I had to let it out. Adam was haunting me, even in the sweetest moments. He was snatching joy away from me before I was really able to grasp it. 'Fuuuuuck! Go away!' I screamed in anger at the image of him I saw in front of me, 'Aaaaah!' I pushed the table towards him as hard as I could away from my bed and it hit the wall, the full plates and cups and a jug scattering all over the floor. The image of Adam disappeared.