red winter (Sebastian Michaelis x Reader)

His Butler, Immortal

He looked shocked but even more concerned when he understood what you just told him.
"That's quite a drastic statement my Lady. I can understand your sentiment, but choosing death over a loveless marriage seems like an extreme measure. It's natural to want to be with someone you love and share a life with rather than being forced into a partnership that lacks joy and affection. But the aristocracy doesn't offer much choice in these matters, I'm afraid"

"You're right, Sebastian. But if you're calling out my name in the castle one day and I don't answer, then you know what I did"

"It's not my place to judge your actions, but I would caution you against making any rash decisions without considering the consequences. Death is a permanent solution to temporary problems, and it would have a tremendous effect on those around you"
That's what he had to say. His subjective view was way different. Not that he judged your actions but he quietly begged you wouldn't make your words come true.

"I know! But in a world of duality you have to take drastic measures sometimes. I also did think it through"

"I see, so you've been contemplating this matter for a while. I won't pretend to know the depth of your suffering or the strength of your conviction. All I can say is that there is value in holding onto hope even in the darkest of times. Your life is not set in stone, and there are ways to find happiness and fulfillment without resorting to drastic or permanent solutions"

"Every way I could think of would hurt at least one person I care about and I don't want to hurt them. Well, you won't know how that feels. You're a demon, you're dead already and you can change your life the way you want"

"Ah yes, as a demon I don't experience the same mortality or limitations as humans do. But that doesn't mean I can't empathize or understand your situation. I have been around humans long enough to see the sufferings and struggles you go through. I may not know exactly how it feels to be a noble but I can still relate to your yearning for happiness and freedom."

"Thanks for listening to me, Sebastian. Can I ask you for a favor? Please make sure I will have a comfortable journey to my final destination"

"If that's truly the path you decide to take, I will do my best to assure you of a peaceful and comfortable passage to whatever lies beyond this world. But I hope you will give this decision more thought and consideration, and not make it lightly."

"Please don't tell Ciel about this..."

"Of course I won't mention our conversation to Ciel. Your privacy and discretion are important, and I understand the sensitive nature of this topic."

"Thank you, Sebastian. Did you know I've always wanted to die during winter season?!"

"I see, why the winter season, if I may ask? Is it because of the cold and the bleakness of the weather?"

"Yes it is...unfortunately it's still six months until we can await the first snow"

"Yes, six months until the first snow flakes. A lot can happen in those six months, you know. A lot can change. There is still time for your circumstances to change, for new opportunities to come your way. You're young, your whole life is still ahead of you"

"I'm 20...once I turn 21 they expect me to get married. Otherwise it'll harm our family and therefore Ciel"

"That's a heavy burden to carry alone. Have you spoken to Ciel about how you feel?"

"No, I haven't. He's just a boy...only 12. How is he gonna comprehend that?"

" Ciel might be only 12 years old but he's far more mature and understanding than many adults I've met. He's faced things that would break most grown men and he's continued to stand strong and fight for what he believes in. I'll admit, he can be stubborn and headstrong at times, but he has a good heart, and he cares deeply about those closest to him. Trust me, he might understand more than you think"

"I'll think about it. Thank you"
Your eyes start tearing up and small sobs can be heard.

"It's alright...cry it all out"

"I- I just want him...not some stupid noble"

"So there really is someone you truly love and want to be with?" Sebastian was still taken aback by your confession.
Of course you had someone in mind...how could he have been so dumb and not know?! Secretly though there was a feeling spreading in his chest, a feeling he didn't like.

"Yes but he is not even a noble...if he was just of lower status it may would've been okay but he doesn't even has any title"

"I see. You're expected to marry someone of equal or higher status to preserve the family standing and reputation. The idea of you marrying a normal person, someone outside your social class would be scandalous"