love without regrets

1

Sana hindi ko nalang siya kinulit sana sinunod ko nalang ung mamaya niya.

"Miguel ano bang sinasabi mo?"

"I'm sorry skye. The night that i was going to propose to you my friends invited me to drink sa bar. I told them na bawal akong umiinom kasi utos mo, pero hindi nila ako pinakinggan. Sabi nila sakin minsan lang naman raw. And i was completely drunk that night not remembering my actions that night. Not even a single word I've said."

"M-miguel don't t-tell me." My heart was starting to break up into a million pieces. Pero pinakikinggan ko parin ang explanation niya.

Ang tanga mo skye. Sobrang tanga.

"Sobrang sorry skye. That night may nangyari pala samin ng bestfriend mo si luna. I didn't know na siya pala ung naghatid sakin papuntang condo ko and the rest was not clear to me. Not until she tested positive. And wala akong choice kung hindi aminin sayo kasi i hate to see you breaking." Tumulo ang luha ko habang nagkwekwento siya.

Fuck you luna. Fuck you. Of all people ikaw pa, gagamitin mo ang kahinaan ng isang lasing na tao para lang makuha ang gusto mo. Pero congrats sayo na siya. You just took left overs bitch.

Sinampal ko at pinagsusuntok ko si miguel. Hindi ko kinaya ung mga nalaman ko.

"Paano mo nagawa sakin to?! San ako kulang sabihin mo! Lahat naman ginawa ko sayo ah. Ano dahil siya binigay niya agad sayo ung gusto mo at ako hindi." Hinahawakan niya ako sa kamay pero pwersa akong bumitaw.

"Skye alam mong hindi ako ganyang klaseng lalaki. At alam mong lasing ako non."

"Fuck that excuse miguel. You call yourself drunk that time pero you can tell me every detail of what happened that night.

"Skye pakinggan mo naman ako oh please? Alam mong ikaw lang mahal ko."

"Mahal? ako lang? gusto kong maniwala sayo pero pagkatapos ng ginawa mo hindi ko alam kung dapat pa ba kitang paniwalaan. Now all we have is memories nothing more. You can leave. Alagaan mo ang maging anak niyo ni Luna. Binuksan ko ang pinto iniintay siyang lumabas.

"Skye please. Please don't." He was in his kness begging for my forgiveness but what he done was enough.

"Habang may natitira pakong bait umalis kana bago pa kita ipakaladkad sa labas." Lumabas ito at pagkasarado ko ng pinto umiyak ako ng umiyak.

Halos dalawang taon akong walang gana kumain at halos masira ang sarili kakatanong kung bakit niya kaya nagawa sakin yun. May pagkukulang bako? May mali ba akong pinakita kaya naging ganon?
Walang katapusang tanong ang nasa utak ko pero what is in the past is shut in the past.

At pinapangako ko sa sarili ko na kung magmamahal man ako ulit sisiguraduhin ko na sa taong tatratuhin ako ng tama.

End of flashback

At nakarating rin sa kinaroroonan, i saw drea and jamie waiting for me sa gate ng bahay nila. And fun fact they live in the same roof sana ako rin.

"Buti dumating ka pa."

"Tagal mo ah!" Sinarado na nila ang gate showing me the entrance sa bahay nila.

"Sorry late. Traffic." Palusot ko kahit alam kong nasa utak ko parin ung nangyari.

"Traffic my ass. We all know na the trauma is still inside your head."

"Tara na nga, let's just drink nalang." Tinignan lang siya ni drea and the look that drea gave has a meaning pero di ko gets kung ano.

"Baliw ka alam mo namang may trauma yan sa alak." Binulong nito kay jamie pero narinig ko parin.

"So insensitive of me sorry!" Tinago nito ang wine glass at binigyan ako ng nahihiyang smile.

"Ano ba kayo it's okay! And anong trauma pinagsasabi mo? i just don't like men who drinks alcohol that's all."

Really skye. What a lying bitch you are.

"Anyways let's watch a movie instead para mawala ang bad vibes."

"Tama! Let's do that!" The girls patt my head while watching a movie. I layed my head on jamies shoulder kasi i feel comfort when I'm with them.

I was about to fall asleep ng marinig ko ung sinabi ni drea kay Jamie.

"Why won't we set skye up for a blind date!"

"That's a wonderful idea tutal it's been what? 5 years? you need to loosen up girl! Ano g ba?"

Eh? blind date? tas ano masasaktan nanaman ako sa huli ako talo wag na oi!

"Wag na, it's just gonna waste our time." Pero nagpumilit parin ung dalawa. Napakakulit naman talaga.

"If you really got over miguel you'll do it."

"Oo nga para na rin sa peace of heart mo. Or baka naman kaya ayaw mo kasi umaasa ka paring babalik yang cheater na yan sa buhay mo." Tinignan ako ng masama ng dalawa lalo na na si jamie.

"Huy skye ikaw ah, wag na wag mong gagawin yan. Ayaw na naming makita kang wasak ulit."

Fuck. Pero hell no I won't do the same mistake twice. Once is enough.

"Fine! I'll do that blindate of yours, whatever that thing is called."Ngumiti sila while making my account for the blindate.

"Pero in one condition." Nakatingin sila sakin at si drea unang nagtanong.

"Spill."

"I'll only do this once. If all of the men out there are jerks consider this deal of ours done."

"Bakla ka kilalanin mo muna sila aba. Jerks agad." Tumawa naman si drea habang nagsasalita si jamie sa harap ko.

Ah basta if i won't find the perfect one that would pass my standards. Then maybe love isn't for me.