Hateful obsession

Chapter 23

I wanted power. I wanted my own influence, to rule, not because of my husband, but because I could. That thought had been consuming me lately. I often found myself in the shadows of men, listening to their plans, watching them make decisions that I knew I could handle better.

But they rejected me - because I was a woman, because they thought I belonged to Roman and that was enough. It infuriated me. I had long deserved my own throne, my own empire. I didn't want to be just a queen by marriage - I wanted to rule the chessboard. Sometimes I wondered if Roman understood how much I wanted this. And judging by my monologue about what I wanted, it should be so obvious.

As I walked through the vast room, my heels echoing off the marble floor, I glanced down at my black trousers and white jacket. There was something poetic about the contrast of colours - black and white. It was not just about fashion, but about the balance of power, light and dark, good and evil. I often wondered if I was drawn to the dark side of life because it gave me a sense of control, whereas white symbolised the parts of myself I had to hold back, the vulnerability I could never allow myself to show.

Life, after all, was a balance between these forces, and I was constantly balancing on this fine line. Only sooner or later my clothes would turn black, because just a little bit more and my foot would step on the black side.

My steps stopped when I spotted Leah. The girl stood there frozen in fear, her eyes wide as if she had been caught doing something wrong. As soon as Leah spotted me, she tried to run, her steps fast and frantic. But my voice, sharp and commanding, stopped her.

"Wait." I walked up to her quickly and poured over her, folding my arms across my chest. "Where are you rushing to, darling?"
"I..." Her eyes looked somewhere to the side. "I just need to go."
"Where is he?" My tone left no room for excuses. Leia swallowed nervously, looking as if she would rather be anywhere else.

Leia's hands shook as she clasped them together. "He's in the hall." She said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"What exactly is he doing there?" I narrowed my eyes.
"Miss Kirillova, I can't say..."
"Speak." I interrupted her.
"They... they're having a meeting. The others are there too." My eyes widened for a second, but I quickly pulled myself together. A meeting? Without my knowledge? No one even said anything, even though I already said I wanted to participate? Rage flared in my chest. How dare Roman hide this from me?

Rage coursed through my veins as I spun on my heels and raced down the hallway, my heels clicking in a dangerous rhythm. Too dangerous and too fast. Roman hadn't told me about this encounter, and that betrayal had hurt. Okay, maybe I was exaggerating, but the bastard had said he'd think about my request.

Once again, I stood aside, as if I was just a trophy wife with no real place in their world. With every step, my anger grew until I reached the heavy doors of the hallway. Without hesitation, I pushed them open and stormed inside.

The room fell silent. The men at the long table looked up, their faces a mixture of surprise and hostility. These were dangerous men, murderers, but I did not flinch. My eyes found Roman at the head of the table, sitting like a king, calm and collected. But the admiration in his gaze did not soften my fury. He had no right to keep me in the dark.

Roman's gaze had locked onto me the moment I entered the room and had never let go, his eyes shining with admiration despite the chaos my entrance had caused. He had always loved my fire, the way I commanded attention when I walked into a room.

Even now, with his men watching, I was fearless. Roman leaned back in his chair, a mocking smile on his lips as I stood before him, every inch of me demanding to be taken seriously. In a world ruled by men like him, I was a force of nature, and he loved me for it.