solana imani rowe
it's funny how how life can be a bitch and the things you've wanted for yourself come full circle leading you down a path you didn't know you needed to go through to get to the other side.
I wish I could tell you my path to happiness was a good one but I'd be lying.
I grew up in St. Louis where I didn't do much except work, go to school, eat, sleep, and repeat. I didn't have many friends and my parents didn't know I existed half the time. they were too busy in their own fucked up world that taking care of their child was a burden and not a responsibility.
I was basically treated like shit my entire life from in and out of my household.
speaking of my parents, they didn't want me being expressive and wanted me to pursue a "practical" job. of course I never listened to them because why would I? they never supported me and always talked down to me every chance that they got. to be honest, I think they regretted having me and it showed. but no one told my dad to fuck my mom and not pull out. I didn't ask to be here.
you do grown people shit you deal with grown people consequences.
but when I graduated high school, I moved out and moved to Virginia. it was an impulsive move considering that I had no money and I was fresh out of high school. but before I left I did steal like five grand from my parents as a final fuck you for how they treated me. not like they noticed.
the money that I took from them helped me for nine months and then I had to start making moves. but those moves turned to me taking odd jobs and getting into crowds that weren't healthy for me. I started dating this guy who was no good for me but because I was young and naive I couldn't see it at the time. he treated me like no other person has ever before.
he made me feel seen and I wanted to give him everything and anything that he wanted. but again I was young and naive and didn't have people in my life to actually teach me right from wrong. something to thank my parents for.
but all we did was party every day. we drank, smoke, fucked, and repeated everything the next day. he took care of me and I took care of him.
at first everything was great until it wasn't.
I found out who he was and the type of timing he was on. he was angry and started hurting me to the point where I was in and out the hospital. the doctors were sick and tired of seeing me and begged me to get some help. something i didn't know I could ask for.
because my ex hurt me, I knew I had to get out. I had just to find the right timing and be smart about it.
it took me a eight years to get away from him but when I did, I knew I had to get my life together. i had no one to help and support me, so i had to everything i could to protect and take care of myself. so I told myself that I won't let anyone especially a fucking man to treat me like shit.
I have to protect my peace no matter what.
no matter who's feelings have to get hurt.
YOU ARE READING
i hate u | c.b x sza |
Fanfictionhate: intense or passionate dislike. a story about neighbors who hate each other but then realize that they have more in common than they think.
