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"Oh," Beyoncé let out a stilted breath. She was shocked, as her heart was shattered into pieces. She was mad as well. But, more than that she was hurt. Her whole body trembled. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Megan had just broken her heart and she probably had no idea that's what she was even doing.
She closed her eyes tightly, trying to shove the image of Megan kissing this man from her mind. His lips on hers. But she opened her eyes and there they were — kissing just outside Megan's doorstep. Her body trembled as she ran back to her car. She didn't want this image in her mind. She didn't even want to think about it.
Luckily, her house was empty when she got home. So she didn't have to deal with any questioning about why she was home and why she planned on sleeping through the rest of the day. God, she'd been so stupid, she thought.
It was a Saturday so she and Megan had planned to hang out as they usually did. Beyoncé had got there early eager to see her friend after a long week. She'd been so excited to see and spend time with her. Since they'd graduated and started working, she felt like she rarely got to spend time with her anymore. It was like their friendship took a backseat, whilst in college it had been centre stage.
But maybe, that was for the best, she realised. Megan obviously didn't have the same feelings Beyoncé had. She sighed feeling deflated. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid to believe that maybe the feelings were mutual. Megan obviously didn't see her like that.
"I love you Beyoncé," "you're so sexy Beyoncé," "I'd fuck you bey"... she cycled through all the compliments, remembering how Megan had looked at her sometimes. Low eyes, passionate eyes, eyes sensual and warm. Those almost kisses, the times when Beyoncé had been sure that Megan felt the same.
But that must've been all in her head. She should've known it was all fake. She should've known Megan would pick a man over her. She was never enough. Why had she thought it would be any different with Megan? Beyoncé wasn't special and she never would be. She was never cool enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, and now apparently not man enough.
Beyoncé cried into her pillow. She just wished someone would choose her, would prioritise her, that someone would pick her over everyone else. It felt like her whole life she'd never been anyone's first pick. She was always second or third or sometimes not even an option. She wasn't anyones favourite cousin, she wasn't any teachers favourite student, she wasn't even her parents first pick (Solange was clearly their favourite. And she honestly didn't even think she'd be solos favourite sister — she'd pick her friends or Kelly over her. It wasn't that they didn't have a good relationship but Beyoncé could see the favouritism and it just never was directed towards her.)
But she was Megans best friend. Megan had picked her. They had other friends but they came back to each other. Every time. Their friendship was a constant choosing of each other. That was why it meant so much to her when Megan had showed some interest. She seemed to really like her — the real her, not the girl she pretended to be when other people were around.
