That was true. From now on, May could help her, but she didn't see the point too much since she was used to Keiran helping her now. But, it would be nice to have her help when she begins to bleed. It hadn't happened yet, but it would happen sooner than later. "It's not that I prefer it, but ..."
"You don't mind it." (F/n) nodded to May's words. "No worries. I understand. Just tell me when you need me."
"Thank you, May. I appreciate that." May nodded in response. "But, I would like your help at that time of the month." (F/n) looked to her lap. "I'm sure that Keiran would be respectful, but ..."
May cut her off. "Don't worry about it. I'll be there unless it's when I'm out looking for the magic user." She stood up and rested her hands on her shoulders. "But, is there anything I should prepare for you? Keiran tells me that you're good with curatives. I can also keep an eye out for when I'm traveling."
Liking the idea quite a bit, she nodded to it. "Yes, do you know of snowflake crown?" May's furrowed brows told (F/n) that she didn't. "It's a flower with white petals and a light blue center. It helps reduce cramping. Have you seen anything like that up here? It likes to grow in clearings."
"There are a few clearings in these woods, but I haven't come across that flower." May returned to her chair and crossed her arms. "Is it all year? And, can it withstand the snow?"
"Yes, it is, and it's supposedly adaptable to any weather."
"Very well. I'll keep an eye out." She smiled. "It'll be good for me too." May stood up again and picked up a nearby pot. "Well, let's get some water heated and get us both cleaned up. Then, we can relax and talk." Liking the plan, (F/n) agreed to it.
~~~~~~~~~~
Clean. She finally felt clean. Keiran had done his best given the situation and her wanting to maintain some level of privacy. But having another woman around that could help her, that was comforting. After her bath, it was like she finally had been rid of the filth that resulted from her prison stay and being shoved forward towards a fate of fire. May even had given her a dress to wear. (F/n) hadn't even a chance to ask before May offered and refused to take anything but acceptance from (F/n). The light blue dress fit her well, and May had shortened both the sleeves and bottom of the dress with a pair of shears, stating that she had plenty of clothes and (F/n) deserved a new dress besides the one she wore to the forge.
In some ways, the whole interaction reminded her of the time she spent with her sister. With Kendra being nineteen, there was a three year difference between them, but before everything happened, the age gap didn't seem to bother them. They would play dress up when they were younger with their mother's clothes and jewels or read books together in the garden between playing games in their down time. May and she weren't doing those things, but the way May was treating her was like having a sister regardless, except when May exhibited the sternness of her father back when they first arrived at the forge.
With both of them refreshed, they both were seated by the fire again. May had dried both of their hair with a woven piece of linen. It now lay draped over the arm of May's chair, drying by the fire. "Now, it's your turn to ask what you wanted of me," (F/n) mentioned, closing her eyes for a moment as she relaxed.
She opened them back up when May spoke, "Thank you." (F/n) noted the small, amused smirk on her lips, and (F/n) in turn got a bad gut feeling. Whatever May was about to ask probably wouldn't be to her liking. "What do you think of Keiran?" Okay, that was tamer than she was imagining. Well at least, she wanted it to be, so she ignored the fact that May probably was asking whether she liked him or not.
"He's kind, and he's helped me a lot through this time in my life. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him." That was the truth, plain and simple.
"Hmm, yes." May crossed her arms. "But, there's more." She leaned forward a little. "I know there is."
Raising a brow, (F/n) asked, "Like what? And, why are you so curious?"
Leaning back, May chuckled lightly and a fond look crossed her caramel optics. "Keiran's like my older brother, though; I know that he thinks I act more like his mother at times." Her eyes saddened a bit. "Someone's got to keep an eye on him, though, especially after Barrett's death." She sighed. "But, he seems a lot happier now that you're with him." May knew exactly why. Keiran's feelings were no secret to her. "So, I want to know where you stand with him. I want to know if you're just as happy."
Averting her (e/c) optics from May, she glanced off to the side. The wall greeted them, but they didn't focus back on it. Whether, she barely noticed where she was looking as she contemplated what her next words would be. She was happy with him. Did she miss how her life was? Yes, but she couldn't change the past. And, she never heard of a magic user with time magic. As for if she liked him, if she shared the same happiness ... Wait, did that mean ... Meeting May's gaze once more, (F/n) asked, "Do you mean that he likes me? More than just friends?"
"(F/n), the man admires you, but it takes more than admiration to do what he did. He wouldn't risk his whole life for just anyone." A small smile touched her lips, but (F/n) noted that it carried downcast realization to it. "I don't think that he'd even do the same for me. If it came between the two of us, he'd choose you without a moment's hesitation."
That confused her. She now confirmed that Keiran had feelings for her, but to that extent, she didn't expect that. He had spent much more time with May; she was like family to him, so why did he have such strong feelings for her when they hadn't really interacted much prior to the whole chain of events in Credel? "But, why? I don't get how he can feel so strongly towards me."
May chuckled. "Love can do strange things, (F/n)."
That word caught her off guard too. He loved her? Given all that he had done for her, it wasn't unreasonable, but ... Her mind had a hard time wrapping around it. Then again even if she hadn't paid much attention to him in the past, she supposed that he could've spent a lot of attention on her even though she wasn't focusing on him. That made her feelings all jumbled even more.
(F/n) noted that her heart would skip a beat around him at times, and that she found herself simply observing him and feeling at peace. In this turned around world of hers, he was a steady rock. But, were her growing feelings of fondness for him simply because he was the one who rescued her. Would she have found herself growing close to him if she hadn't been betrayed by Kendra and Felin?
"(F/n), what are you thinking?" May asked, watching her with curiosity.
"I don't know." She hated that phrase. It reminded her of her trial. But, she really didn't know this time around; it wasn't because of her being drugged. "I guess that I'm worried." May remained quiet, waiting for her to explain more. "What if I only find myself wanting to grow closer to him because he's the one that was there? He saved me, and so I naturally feel attached to him."
"That's silly." May rested her chin on her palms. Such a response caused (F/n) to pause before she parted her lips to speak; however, May beat her to it. A teasing smile was on the younger woman's lips. "If that were the case, you wouldn't look at him like you do. It's not just gratitude in your eyes, (F/n)." Leaning back again, May crossed her arms. "You recognize that, even if it's subconsciously, that he will always have your back, that you finally found someone you can fully trust. He's your partner in this, and your heart would break if you lost him."
Words couldn't escape (F/n). She was silent. "He didn't just save you, (F/n). Like you noted, he's helped you through this time in your life. He's been putting back together your shattered heart. He's gotten you to open back up to people in a quick amount of time." She chuckled lightly. "I mean look how vulnerable you're letting yourself be around me." That was very true. May already had gotten to see her at some of her lows. "Not just anyone can do that. You have to let him in, and you did willingly."
A smirk touched her lips. "Besides, I noticed how you like to watch him work. The sweat on his brow, his muscles tensing and his determination to help you." She rested her chin on her hands again. "It'd be hard in your shoes not to notice and stare."
Now, some warmth did enter her cheeks. But, she couldn't find the words to deny May's. Was she already in love with him? They had only been on this journey for two and half weeks. Then again, there were people in Credel who seemed to fall in love faster than that. "I don't know if I'm ready for that," (F/n) admitted. "I like what we have right now."
"Ah, but like's the key word," May pointed out. "You don't love it, though."
"I ..." (F/n) wondered if this is how Kendra felt when she teased her sister about her relationship with Felin when it had just started. Then, she quickly realized that couldn't be possible. They had a relationship built upon deceiving others to get what they wanted; they were using each other for power. No, Kendra probably had been faking her embarrassment. "I ... Why did you want to bring this up? You really like getting personal information, don't you?"
"Hmm, sometimes. It helps me to get to know the queen I'm serving better." There was a softness in her caramel eyes. She didn't have ill intent, just a genuine want of knowing her companion. "But, I also want to see you both happy. You both deserve it, and I don't want your fear of the future to keep you from it." Before (F/n) could utter a response, they both heard a door open. Steps followed, and Keiran soon entered the room. (F/n) hadn't even noticed that the sound of him working in the forge had stopped.
"May, what are you interrogating her about now?" Keiran accused, clearly annoyed by the situation before him, but he did make a mental note to thank May later for the dress she gave (F/n). (F/n) looked to be in serious thought while May had a smile on her lips.
"Oh, nothing." She waved her hand and stood up. "I should work on some dinner for all of us." She patted Keiran on the arm before walking past him. He glanced back to her and sighed before he focused on (F/n).
"Are you alright?" He stepped over to her and rested a gentle hand on her shoulder.
Meeting his gaze, she nodded. "Yes, I'll be fine. And, don't be mad at May. She didn't do any harm." No, she just made her face another truth before her. She did fear the future and what it would bring. They very well could fail, and she'd watch those she was growing to care about die before her eyes. If she submitted herself to her increasing feelings for Keiran, it'd hurt even more to lose him. The pain of learning that she lost her parents remained recent, and she was scared of feeling that sorrow so freshly again. She forced a smile. "It was just girl talk."
Not believing but not pushing further on it, he released another sigh. "Very well. But, remember ..."
"You're here." Her smile was genuine this time. "I know." Seeing her smile, his heart warmed, and he nodded. He'd always be there for her.
