Together but Separate

Chapter 1: Her Set Up

"Pero, nay, napag-usapan namin ni Nicko na wala masyadong personal na mamamagitan sa aming dalawa. Saka busy iyong tao. Hindi niya obligasyon na magbigay ng oras sa kahit ano mang personal na buhay ko dahil iyon ang napagkasunduan namin."

Napakunot ang noo ni nanay. "Wala akong pakialam sa napagkasunduan ninyo, Kate. Kasal pa rin kayo at sa mata ng Diyos, nag-iisa lang kayo. May sari-sarili kayong pamilya bago niyo pinasok ang kasal na iyan at alam niya na may ina ka na nag-aalala para sa 'yo. Kailangan niya ako galangin at bigyan ng oras na makilala siya."

May punto si nanay pero ang problema, paano ko sasabihin kay Nicko ang gusto ni nanay? Hindi ko alam kung papayag iyon. Seryoso pa naman siya nung sinabi niya na ayaw niyang maging hadlang ang kahit anong nangyayari sa personal na buhay ko sa buhay niya. Tanging kasal lang ang kailangan namin sa isa't-isa. Wala kaming dapat na responsibilidad sa isa't-isa.

Napatingin ako kay Kaila na nakikinig lang sa usapan namin ni nanay. Bumaling din siya sa akin at binigyan ako ng tipid na ngiti.

Umayos na ako ng tayo saka sinabing, "Sasabihin ko po sa kanya, nay." Ito nalang ang sinabi ko para matapos na ang usapan. "Mag-ingat po kayo lagi nina Kaila. Tawagan niyo lang po ako kung may kailangan kayo."

Tanging tango lang ang sagot ni nanay. Nagpaalam na rin ako sa kapatid ko at niyakap siya bago umalis ng bahay.

Nakasakay ako sa kotse ko sa backseat. Ilang beses na akong napapabuntonghininga simula nung nakaalis ako ng bahay. Hindi ko akalain na magiging ganito ka komplikado ang pinasok ko.

Hindi masaya si nanay at iyon ang pinag-aalala ko. Ayoko pa naman siyang magalit sa akin. Mahal na mahal ko kasi siya at importante sa akin ang opinyon niya.

Napatingin ako sa engagement ring na nasa kamay ko. Kahit hindi sabihin ni Nicko ang halaga nito, sa itsura palang ay alam ko na agad na mamahalin ito. I even told him na simpleng singsing nalang sana ang binili niya, but he told me that this was his family's heirloom. Nagulat ako at biglang kinabahan. Because it meant na kailangan kong ingatan ito ng mabuti. On side note, I felt like I didn't deserve to wear this ring. I felt guilty because he was supposed to pass this on to his real love, but it ended up going to me because of our arrangement.

My wedding ring was no different. I knew for sure that this cost a fortune. He said that he had our wedding rings made. That meant na kung mawala ko ito, I would not find a replica or a the same one.

I thought that Nicko put too much money in our wedding rings for we only had a very simple wedding. Our wedding was held in the city hall. No decorations or anything fancy. I was only wearing a white dress, not a gown. Our only guests were my family and his parents. We just ate in their huge house after the wedding. That's about it.

Both of our families knew our arrangement. Hindi pumayag si nanay, but I was stubborn and did it anyways. Hindi ko alam if Nicko's parents had the same reaction or not. I wondered if they also strongly objected our decision. He never told me.

I met his parents, and they were very nice and welcoming. They were very professional and down to earth. But meeting them was very strange to me. Hindi ko alam kung dahil iyon ang unang beses na pinakilala ako sa mga magulang ng isang lalake o dahil alam ko ang arrangement na meron kami.

I was glad that they did not judge me for agreeing to this with their son. In fact, they were very gentle and respectful when talking to me. But even though they were nice, I felt like our meeting was more of a business matter than welcoming a member of the family. I felt like they were building a wall between us. I assumed na ganoon lang sila sa akin because they wanted to be careful lalo na at hindi naman nila ako masyadong kilala. Or maybe, they wanted to put a gap because they were not sure yet if I would stay as a permanent family member.