tape → narry au

56 → monachopsis

I honestly didn't know what she meant by that, but whatever satisfies her has nothing to do with me.

After Bean left I continued to sit at the table by myself. Intentionally ignoring the weird feeling and constant burdens crossing my mind.

Something felt odd-- peculiar.

I couldn't entirely piece it together but I wasn't feeling too normal, or as normal as I was considered by everyone.

All the same I emptied my finished meal into the rubbish, exiting the canteen cabin not too many minutes later with a set plan to stay in cabin nine for the remainder of the day. Waiting for Niall's usual later arrival.

I wasn't at all surprised to not see him in our cabin yet his makeshift journal was laid out on my mattress once I settled into my temporary home. Deciding to not change into my nightwear just yet.

The journal sparked a sudden curiosity from within me I wasn't able to think of anything else at the moment—the brown diary practically begging me to look through it so I thought, what the hell?

It isn't like Niall's going to discover that I was intruding his privacy.

He kind of intruded mine the night he took my virginity but--

I flip to the back for a most recent entry. Already seeing today's current date: 10 September 2015 with a few words written in Niall's rather proper handwriting underneath the written date with a few cross outs.

It read:

So today's the day!

I've had a lot of thinking about it and I won't regret anything that's set.. except for Harry, he's my everything.

I coo to myself outwardly—the same reciprocation. Niall's my current, main priority too.

I've only known him the past three months (I've been counting sadly) and I feel as if he knows more about me, the real Niall, rather than my family and it sucks that I've chosen to leave him behind.

He'll understand later hopefully–it isn't the easiest decision to decide but, once you begin to weigh out the pros with the cons, and you have one pro fighting against millions of cons, you take that as your finalisation.

And well, that's mine.

If you're reading this Harry, don't take this personal. Please. It was bound to happen anyway.

I love you.

Forever yours,

Niall Horan.

I had to process the entry but once I did, I wasted no time in running to the only place Niall would ever be currently and hopefully alive: our bolder.

I ran faster than I ever had before to save the one person that needed the most help right now but--

I was too late.

I couldn't see Niall but I saw a million others surrounding the secret place Niall and I called our own once before.

They were intruding it.

The first person that noticed my flabbergasted presence was Ed. I saw him running up to enclose me in his arms murmuring apologises that I didn't bother myself to listen nor respond to because it was too late--

I was too late.

Too late to save Niall.

I didn't have any knowledge on any of these thoughts crossing his mind by the day and I felt like such a horrible human to know I wasn't aware of any of the signs nor his isolated state.

He was isolating himself from everyone because he wanted to die.

Niall was truly suffering inside and I was just as clueless as the next stranger. The next person observing from afar.

I was clueless, heartbroken, and a word that's described as beyond sad, and there wasn't anything I was able to do about it.

Just watch several strangers carry out a black body bag with my heart as well as my dead boyfriend enclosed in the tight plastic.
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A.N: Once again I am sooo sorry but it was planned, Niall's death, to happen in the Tape plot anyway.

Tape's almost over now. Maybe four or five more parts left to the full story, sorry for that too.

Well-- thoughts on this chapter? What do you think will happen next? Do you think Harry will develop from this anytime?

Share • Vote • Follow • Comment • Read Obscure because Niall's alive in that story (and he will be throughout the full story) and the first chapters already published!

Happy Reading!