Like Before (Niall Horan)

Chapter Twenty-Two: Just Let It Go

"Niall, I can't talk about this. We're over. Just let it go." I told him and hung up. He kept trying to call me and at one point it stopped ringing for a couple of hours. Steph had come over and had knocked on my door but I really didn't want to talk to anyone. Sarah had tried to come in and I wouldn't let her. I wouldn't even let Tia in.

At dinner I went down and ate some food. With all three of them watching me, I ate in silence. I'm sure Steph knew what had happened and she had probably told Sarah about it.

I ate quickly and went back to my room where Steph let herself in before I could shut her out. "What Steph? I'm not in the mood." I curled up onto my bed.

"Would you like to tell me what you're thinking then? I have no idea why you would break up with Niall. I've tried seeing the reason and I just can't find one. You guys were doing great."

"Steph I told you. It wouldn't work." I told her as my phone started lighting up again. Steph looked at it and got to it before I did.

"Hello." Steph said and put it on speaker phone. "She can hear you now Niall." 

"Alix, lets talk about this. Lets work it out." I stuffed my head under my pillow and refused to respond.

"Niall, she's trying to hide her head."

"I'm hiding because we won't work!" I practically shouted. "Its obvious that no one wants us together and if we stay together you're just going to lose fans." I told him and took my phone from Steph. "Just stop calling me. This is whats best for both of us."

"If it was whats best for both of us, it wouldn't feel like this. And I know this isn't what you want." Niall told me.

"You're wrong. This is exactly what I want." I hissed into the phone hanging it up. I took the back off and took the battery out of my phone. 

Lets see him call me now.

"Alix! Why are you doing this?" Steph hollered at me.

"I'm not you Steph! I can't just brush everything off. All the bad outweighs the good and I can't do this! I can't let people talk shit about me and pretend its all okay. I can't have people telling me that I'm no good for Niall and not start to believe it." I told her. I grabbed my laptop and logged into twitter. "Want to hear the latest?" I asked as my laptop loaded my mentions. 

"Alix."

"Now according to OneDirectionLuver, with a u, not even spelling it correctly, I am a pathetic girl for taking 'her Nialler's heart' with no intentions of keeping it because I'm only using him.." I made air quotes with my hands. "And according to NiallersBestie I am a terrible person because I'm just using Niall to hurt him so he couldn't ever be happy again." 

"Alix! Enough!" Steph yelled and shut my laptop. "They are just fans! They don't know anything about you!" 

"Apparently they think they do." I stood up and went to my closet pulling out a box of letters. "I have all these letters. Aliya from Arkansas says she'd like to find me so she can cut my mouth off for kissing Niall. Arika from Louisiana wants to find me and tell me how worthless I am and how its all my fault that my mom left. She was too disgraced for having a whore of a daughter."

"Alix. These are just stupid little kids. Their opinions don't matter. Niall's opinion matters, my opinion matters, Tia's opinion matters. You don't know these people and they don't know you." Steph told me. She threw the letters back in the box and shut it. "It will stop eventually, you just have to keep your head up and not let it get to you." She led me back to sit on my bed.

"I can't Steph. If I just take a step back and leave him alone everything will go back to normal." 

"Nothing will ever be normal again. You love him, Alix. And thats not just going to go away." Steph told me as I curled back up on my bed.

"It will. One day, it will go away. And when that day comes, we'll realize it was for the better."

"This is never for the better. You love him and he loves you. Its not his fault."

"Its all his fault. He's the one thats famous. He's the one with all the fans who can't stand to see him happy with someone who isn't them. He's the one who can't have a private life because of his band. Those were all his choices and this is mine. Steph I can't do this." I told her. "Please just leave me alone. I'll see you at school tomorrow." I pushed my face into my pillow.

"Alix, I don't understand you." Steph said but she walked out my door anyway. This is how things had to be. I couldn't be in a relationship with Niall because it hurt me too much. It hurt to not have him around me. It hurt to have to deal with his fans on my own. When he was with me things were better. But I just needed space. I needed time away from him to get over him. 

Thats why when he called me, I wouldn't answer. 

Thats why whenever he sent me a message I wouldn't respond to it, just delete it. 

Thats why when he tried to Skype me, I'd ignore him.

Until I could honestly say I felt nothing for him again, I couldn't see him, I couldn't even hear his voice.

And that hurt. That hurt a lot. 

The only member of that band I would talk to was Harry so we could work things out for my birthday. I couldn't cancel that now, it was too late. They were coming whether I liked it or not. It would be the ultimate test on if I was over Niall.

I knew what I was doing was the wrong way to go about things, but I had to take control of my life back. Everything had come spiraling out of control since Sarah told me we would be having guests at our house.

"We have company at the house. Try to keep Tia calm and don't tell anyone about it. Its a favor for one of my friends back in California." Sarah told me.

"Fine. Is that all?" I asked.

"Yes. Please Alix, be nice." Sarah sighed and we hung up.

If only I knew what would have happened before all of it happened. I would have lived at Steph's house for the days they were there. Maybe I could have avoided everything had I not opened my door to find trouble waiting for me in the form of a curly haired boy and a blonde haired boy giving piggy back rides. I could have avoided Louis and his british accent.

"Hello. You must be Alix." A boy with longish brunette hair said in a British accent. He put his hand out to me. I looked at Tia and she was still wide eyed and had a gaping mouth. I pushed her more into the room so I could shut the door behind us. I took the brunettes hand and nodded.

"Nice to meet you..." I started not finishing my sentence since I wasn't sure of his name.

"Louis Tomlinson?" Tia spoke in awe, partially stuttering on his last name. He kneeled down in front of my sister and smiled at her.

"Hello Love. What's your name?" He asked.

"I'm Tia." She said proudly. 

"Why hello Tia." Louis smiled taking her hand and kissing the back of it ever so softly. My little sister giggled a little bit and walked off into the living room. I watched her until she disappeared behind the wall, then brought my eyes back to the brunette, Louis. 

"Well, Sarah said we had guests. I didn't know she meant you guys."

Had I known it was them, I would have hidden until the time they left. They never would have come back and I never would have fallen for Niall freaking Horan. 

I never would have said "I Love You" and I never would have felt like throwing up, crying, and hiding in my bed for the rest of my life.

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Since I already posted this by mistake once and a lot of people have probably read it, I decided to just repost it anyway. I'll still update the new chapter on Monday though.