The Nanny

Man To Man Conversation

"So let's have a little man to man conversation, shall we?" I said as I began to rock us in the chair slowly. "Your mum is pretty incredible, but I'm sure you know that." He glanced up at me almost in acknowledgment.

"Really she's too good for me, and I have done a lot of things to screw this up before it even began, blood he- I mean heck-" I glanced down at him after my almost slip. "I didn't even know that I liked her let alone could feel this way about her half of the time I was screwing up. Now I'm afraid she only sees that person, the one that is just one mistake after another." Jamie looked up at me, stilling in my arms like he was hanging on to every word I was saying.

"I'm not that person, just so you know. I don't want you to think I'm that person either. I care about you and your mum very much. I don't want either of you to have a poor opinion of me."

And just like that my mind wandered to Aria again.

Aria was just in the next room, sleeping peacefully... and I had kissed her tonight.

My lips pulled up into a smirk at the pleasant memories. The feel of her lips on mine, her scent... everything that I couldn't get out of my head long enough to sleep.

I snap my eyes back to Jamie, hopeful that the infant would take my mind off of Aria but his similar smile and matching eyes ruined that hope.

I sighed throwing my head back against the chair.

"Oh Jamie, what am I going to do?" I lifted my head to look at him as he pulled my now tamed finger into his mouth and stared up at me. "You've any ideas on how to get your mummy to let me kiss her again?"

He pulled my finger out of his mouth before babblings rather seriously at me then blowing bubbles with the droll his teething mouth had over produced.

It made me laugh out and quickly cover my mouth at the too loud sound. After I was certain Aria hadn't heard I reached over to the changing table beside me and gripped a wipe to clean up the waterfall slowly making its way out of the now grinning baby's mouth.

"As adorable as that is, I don't think your mum would be nearly as impressed with me blowing spit bubbles as when you do it, buddy." When I was done I tapped his nose soliciting more baby giggles. "If that's the only move you got, I'm going to have to teach you a few things."

And right there my heart sped up because for that spit second my mind went to a place I never thought it would go and it probably shouldn't have gone right now.

In that one second I saw Aria and I together, happy, an older Darcy running around playing with an older Jamie, the lot of us looking like a perfect little family.

It was both a frightening thought and an exhilarating thought.

I glanced down at Jamie and wondered what it would be like to be around for the rest of his life because if there was one thing I was sure of it was that Aria was the kind of girl you thought about forever with.

She wasn't a girl you just dated to see where it went, she was the girl you dated with the intention of marring one day. The woman you pictured yourself sitting next to as you watched your grandchildren run around.

She was the woman I could see myself having a family with and that alone was slightly terrifying because it meant that there was a lot riding on her letting me in.

My whole future was riding on her letting me in.

I shouldn't have been having those thoughts, I shouldn't be thinking that far in advanced when I was sat here wondering if I would ever even kiss her again, but I had already know that Aria was different.

She made me think of things that were unthinkable to me just a few short months ago and I couldn't make myself be mad about that.

"Do you think you could talk to her for me, mate? Look at her with those big eyes of yours and just melt her heart into going on a date with me?"

Again he gurgled out some words before sticking his own fist in his mouth and waving his other hand at me.

"I'll make a deal with you." I said holding him up so we were face to face, fist still in his mouth. "If you help me out now... I'll buy you a car when you're old enough?"

Instantly the fist fell from his mouth and a giant one toothed grin graced his lips like he understood what I was offering him.

If he did then I wondered if he also understood the promise I was making to Aria without her even knowing it, the promise I was making myself also. The promise that was completely based on a whimsical fantasy of the crazy man I was slowly becoming because of the nanny.

It was a promise for a family and as scary as it seemed, as fast as it all was going, it was a promise that I really, really wanted to keep.

I matched Jamie's grin as I leaned in and kissed his forehead before tucking him securely back into my arms were he quickly nestled in with his fist quickly replaced into his mouth.

"So it's a deal then. You get a car and I get your mummy."