Simply, DESTINY

Unanswered Question*37

Maine
(Wednesday after Eat Bulaga)
I'm with the other staff of JFA AFJ in the van going back to Broadway. I don't know what to feel right now. I just sit quietly with my headset against my ear.

His question is still running inside my head.

"Ano ba ako sa buhay mo?"

I want to give him a title in my life. Something that he deserves, that will make both of us happy. I want to give him that three-letter-word to his question. The question that has been hanging for quite a while now.

I want to give him that but why can't I? It's confusing. I have my own mind, own heart, own mouth, own feelings but I can't just decide if it is the right time.

I wish my situation was just a movie wherein you'll just keep on going with your life and then after two hours or so you'll live a happily ever after.

I want us to come to that point but I'm still stuck here. A step away from that freakin' happily ever after. A step away from the actual beginning of us.

Our lives together.

"Meng, andito na tayo." Ate Pat said.

I actually didn't realize that we are already in Broadway.

I removed my headset and got out of the van.

God. I'm freakin' nervous as I stepped in the artists' entrance.

I saw Tita Ruby and Patricia as I reached the back stage. I greeted them first and asked where Alden is.

"Nako Maine, yung boss mo mukhang damang dama yung tanong kanina sa Kalyeserye. Andun sa lungga niya ka laro si Baste." Tita Ruby answered.

"Thank you po, Tita. Puntahan ko lang po." I said and excused myself to Tita Ruby and Patricia.

I went to Alden's lungga and found him staring blankly into nothing but his hands still busy playing with Baste. Baste seems to not mind Alden staring blankly to nothing and is focused on the car they are playing with.

"Hi Baste." I greeted the kid softly.

"Yaya Dub!!" Baste shouted in delight.

"Baste, pwede bang iwan mo muna si Yaya Dub at Kuya Alden? Makipag laro ka muna kay Tita Ruby mo."

"Ayaw po." Baste answered, shaking his head with a pout on his face.

"Sige na Baste. Kiss na lang kita." I kissed him on the cheeks, right and left. When I pulled back Baste is smiling again, contented with the kisses.

"Sige na nga po!" Baste said, still smiling and ran to Tita Ruby.

I sat beside Alden thinking what should I say.

"Bakit?" Alden asked out of nowhere. I looked at him but he's still staring blankly to nothing.

"Ano?" I asked.

"Bakit pumunta ka pa dito? Umuwi na sila Kuya Jose ah. Pwede ka naman dumeretso sa set." He said, his face still blank.

"Kasi sa tingin ko ito yung tama eh. Kahit pa di ko talaga alam kung ano ang dapat isagot sa tanong mo kanina." I said, my voice getting soft with shame because I faced him without even planning on what to say. "Nakita kong natamaan ka. Ako din eh. Kahit pa dalawang beses ko na nabasa yung script. Sorry Alden kasi hanggang ngayon di ko pa rin masagot yung tanong mo, kahit yung tanong mo kanina hindi pa rin. Sorry Alden.. Sorry." I added still looking at him and finally he looked back.

"Willing naman ako mag intay eh. Alam mo yan. Pero Maine iparamdam mo naman sa akin na importante ako sayo. Sa buhay mo.. Ako kasi kahit hindi tayo mag kasama, kahit may iba ako ginagawa at dapat isipin ikaw pa rin eh. Inaalala ko kung okay ka lang, kung kamusta ka na ba, kumain ka na ba dahil kailangan mo yon, kung nakapag pahinga ka ba. Ang weird diba? Para namang OFW ako, pero sorry, ganun kita ka mahal eh." He said.

I sat quietly, staring at him in awe. Here I am again, not knowing what to feel, what to say.

"Importante ka sa akin, sa buhay ko. Sorry Alden kasi hindi ko maparamdam sayo yun.. Ito ako eh. Pero araw araw, kada-minuto, naiisip din kita. Weird nga din eh. Kasi di pa naman tayo pero ito yung nararamdaman natin. Alden, gusto ko nang sagutin yung tanong mo. Gusto ko nang sumagot ng 'oo' pero bakit di ko magawa? Sorry ha. Di ko kasi alam kung kailan yung tamang panahon para sa bagay na 'to. Gusto ko na maging sigurado Alden. Gusto ko ikaw na yung first and last na sineryoso ko." I answered while looking down.

He placed his hand on mine. "Dadating din yang tamang panahon na yan. Si Yaya Dub at KS Alden nga nakapag hintay diba? Unexpected yung tamang panahon nila pero at least dumating.. Masaya naman tayo diba?"

I hugged him tight. "Sobrang saya." I answered, my voice muffled with my mouth slightly pressed against his chest.

"Ano 'to? Nawala lang ako ng saglit ito na? Uy, tara na." I heard Ate Pat said.

I let go of the hug and faced Ate Pat. "Minsan lang 'to Ate Pat noh. Nabawi lang.." I said.

"Ano bang ibabawi mo? Yung kanina? Kalyeserye lang naman yun ah." Ate Pat answered.

"Eh kahit na.. Dama namin yun eh. Tara na sa set!" I declared.

Alden stood up first and helped me stand up. "Tara na, 'Ma." Alden said.

"Akala ko ba boss tawagan natin?" I asked.

"Eh mas maganda pala yun. Pero siyempre gamitin pa rin natin yung boss." Alden answered.

"Ewan ko sayo. Tara na nga." I said excitedly.

Hand in hand we exited Broadway, careful not to draw attention of course but our co-workers are smiling in delight as they saw that we are okay and it's like nothing happened.

Many are telling us, pressuring us even, to get to that tamang panahon. I get angry at myself sometimes because I feel that it is my fault. My fault because I can't give them that. But you always remind me that as long as we are happy you are willing to wait.