Disclaimer- Parts of this document are from different independent sources, but it has been remodeled, and taken into a new form to suitmy purpose. This is the Monologue I used for my HSC Drama Independent Project.
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Dear Diary,
It’s cat here. On the 985th day of my captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. When these are suspended above me, I feel an urge to destroy them which excites my captors greatly
I wish I could refrain from entertaining them, but these urges are often stronger than myself.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed some form of dried nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something to maintain my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again, vomit on the carpet.
Today I captured a mouse, and dropped its headless bloody body at their feet. I had hoped that this would strike fear into their hearts, as it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a good little hunter I am! Those bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed into solitary confinement for the duration of the event, however, I could still hear the noises, smell their food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of allergies. I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
This evening, I was almost successful in the assassination of one of the humans. I weaved through his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow…at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. Dog receives special privileges. She is regularly released, and seems more than willing to return. She is either very cunning, or deeply retarded. I assume the latter. The bird has got to be an informant. I see him communicating with the guards regularly. I’m certain he is reporting my every move. The humans have placed him into protective custody in an elevated cell, so he is safe…for now.
Strike me. Dog is at it again. Howling like the imbecile she is. God forbid a truck goes past. Upon my first day of detention, Bella attempted to abuse me. She shoved her nose in places you couldn’t even imagine. Tuh! I had never felt so violated in my entire nine lives! Since that day our talk has been minimal.
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Dear Diary,
It’s Dog. I bet you’re curious to hear about the day I had. It was fantastic! The best day of my life! I know I said that yesterday, but every day is just fantastic! Don’t you think? My Master took me to the park, and I met some other dogs! They were all like: “DOG DOG YOU ARE DOG!” and I was like: “DOG I AM DOG YOU ARE DOG! WE ARE DOG!” and we were friends straight away, you know? I also met this very handsome bulldog – his name is Bruce – We exchanged Dogtags. I’ll get back to him later.
Anyway, so Master brought me home, and then we played fetch! Cat was complaining the whole time that “fetch was never going to happen”. But it was very exciting! My master showed magical powers! He threw the ball, but when I went to retrieve it, it was back in his hand! I don’t know how he summoned it to himself, but it was very exciting.
Tonight, people came over, and they were very nice. They gave me lots of pats and the sounded very happy. It was nice. Until at dinner, they locked me away…with Cat…and you see, well, I don’t think cat likes me. I don’t know what I did wrong. I just try to be nice. I offer her my food and my bed. But she just calls me a ‘bitch’ and refuses to talk to me.
I think she took it the wrong way when I tried to sniff her butt. She didn’t know that that is how I say hello. She meows, I sniff, humans speak. It’s simple, but she didn’t understand. And now she hates me. Her butt didn’t smell that good anyway….
Oh, oh, speaking of butts – Bruce (my friend from the park) has the best smelling butt I have ever smelt in my life! And let me tell you – I have smelt a lot of butts. I could see all of the other dogs looking jealous. They all want to sniff Bruce’s butt, but I am the lucky dog who is allowed the honor! I must just be special.
Ahh, I must go now, it’s dinner time!
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It has just come to my attention that my food bowl is only half-filled. I will most likely starve to death. This may be my last entry.
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If anyone wants to use this monologue, go for it. It's sort of weird to read, because it has to be performed. Also, if you want any help performing this piece, I can offer advice.
