Yes indeed YES INDEED! A Naruto fanfic has been chosen for our first critique. Naruto was the first anime we watched so it only seemed appropriate. We'll be scouring Wattpad for gut-wrenching Mary Sues to add to this book of atrocities. So prepare y...
Wha- is she a flipping Sith Lord? *raspy old man voice* You must use your hate to understand the Dark Side of the Force young apprentice... Really. That's all I can think about.
Although revenge is something I'd like to accomplish, it isn't the first thing I need to do with my life. I will get revenge, when the time is right. And until then, I'll have to suffer with the idiots on my team. But will my brothers teachings ever allow me to stay like this?
I mean all you've talked about is your intense hatred and need for revenge. I honestly don't know what the other "first thing" you need to do with your life is. Moving on to Chapter One. There's an author's note that needs to be in here.
Hey guys! This is my first Naruto fic! I do believe this calls for some celebratory cake *hands you a piece*,
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well have fun in the wonderful world of Naruto! The first two chapters will be Kaji's past, all of which will be in italics.
Iruka-sensei handed our tests back to us, and seeing the 'A' on the top of the paper I couldn't wait to go home and brag about it. I look back to see that Sasuke kid get glomped by about 10 girls congratulating him on getting an 'A-'.
Ah yes. Of course the Sue has to get a better grade than Sasuke.
I feel bad for that kid. I look slightly to my right, and see Naruto furrowing his eyebrows at his test paper. Probably got a bad score, poor guy.
'Well, no matter' I thought, jumping from my seat as the bell rang, dismissing us from the classroom.
Haha no. Iruka sensei would dismiss you. Classes differ in Japanese and American culture. Also, that's a run on sentence. I'd just say "as the bell dismissed us from the classroom.". It'll make things less wordy.
'Thank God.' I said in my head, wanting to get out of the boring classroom as fast as my little legs would carry me.
I sprinted all the way, accidentally bumping into a few random civilians on the way home. I probably should've apologized.
I finally make it to my clan grounds, but I see no one. 'That's weird. Usually I'd see Aiko or Hotaka running away from Ichiro. No matter, they're probably sick at home right now.' I think to myself.
Kind of weird that Kaji immediately assumes they're sick. If a friend of mine isn't at or around their house I usually don't think "Oh! They have the flu! Time to go home.". It just doesn't feel like the natural progression of how she would think. Also, I have no idea what Kaji's clan grounds look like. Give us some detail.
I step in cautiously, my guts immediately churning, telling me to run to the Hokage, run away, but I ignore the feeling and slowly walk around. I eventually reach the market, and yet I still see no one.
