There are words that I find almost impossible to say to you
Because every time you walk past me
I'm filled with a sense of anxiety
that leaves the palm of my hands feeling sweaty the bones in my body quaking and the words that were once tip of my tongue have now fallen to the pit of my stomach
To far beneath the fluttering butterflies and gurgling acid
I know for a fact that if I were to bring those words back up that all that would come out is word vomit
and baby I just don't want to look a fool in front of you
So I guess I have to go back to middle and elementary school terms
I know that if you were ever to reach the inside of my mind you would be put through a whirl wind of confusion and I don't want you to get lost in that sea of complex ideas that don't even make sense to myself
So yeah I do have a crush on you because every time I see you in the arms of another
I feel like my heart is being crushed to pieces
no I don't think you have cooties because I've know you long enough to know that you would never give yourself up to anyone that wasn't special and some day I hope to be your special somebody
And I think your beyond cute your the epitome of beautiful just seeing you makes me breathless
Being with you is like jumping into a pool on a hot day
that burst of clarity that you get right as your about to hit the top and you finally open your eyes gasping for air
And maybe that's why I can never get the words right
you take the oxygen away that supposed makes my brain able to function
And I don't even want you mention the times I have played mash with your name
But there was this one time were it actually landed on you and it said WE WOULD HAVE 2 kids you would be a doctor and I would be a high school teacher we'd have the careers wed always wanted plus the house by the beach with the perfect view
And I don't mean to sound stalkerish but any future with you is a future worth working towards
I want to be your fairy tale book ending but
I have to apologize for being too much of a coward to tell you how I feel
I apologize for not being able to be the friend you want me too be
I apologize for distancing myself from you
I just don't want to be stuck in that zone because I know I'd grow to hate you
So I'll stick to smiling at you in the hallways
giving you hugs when you look like you need them
Making you laugh when the girlfriend of yours is making you mad
I won't be that girl that tries to sabotage a relationship
Right now I wish you the most of happiness because I know you deserve it
And by the off chance that were single at the same time
ill hand you a note with this poem inside and a little something extra
that you'll hopefully check yes too
