I THINK I LOVE YOU

CHAPTER SEVEN

"C'mon, Lucas you're an asshole. Do you think Joie will fall  for you for the second time? She's not dumb."

"Point taken. Hindi mo rin pwedeng sabihin kay Joie na hindi siya pwedeng ma-inlove sayo because that would be assuming, plus you will be branded as insincere."

"No. I think Joie won't do the same mistake twice." I hurt her before at alam ko hindi nito iyon nakakalimutan. She recognizes me yes, not as the guy that she loved, but the guy who caused her so much pain. That one, is clear.

"Okay. What if kabaliktaran naman ang mangyari? Na habang pinagsusumikapan mo ang kapatawaran niya ay unti-unti na ring nahuhulog ang loob mo sa kanya? Alin ang mas mahirap sa dalawa?"

"Damn! What's with these two? They're not helping."

"Kaya nga what if  'di ba? Malabong mangyari. At puwede ba huwag na niyong guluhin pa ang sitwasyon?"

"Hindi namin pinapagulo ang sitwasyon pare. We were giving you the possible outcome there is. Think about it before making such actions."

Napaisip tuloy ako sa pinagsasabi ng dalawang kolokoy. Is it possible? I think not. Not when I took advantage of the situation. And it's not as if Joie would allow that to happen, she's too guarded.

"Puwede mo bang i-describe sa akin ang Joie na iyan? Iyong good qualities niya lang."

I paused for a moment and filled my thoughts with memories of Joie. "She's fun to be with. Kapag kasama mo siya there's no dull moment kasi pati katangahan niya matatawa ka. She's also very opinionated. Kahit hindi mo siya tinatanong sinasabi niya kung ano ang naglalaro sa isipan niya, pati ang mga walang kamuwang-muwang na mga halaman nadadamay sa mga kabaliwan niya. She's also the most optimistic person I've ever known. Sometimes I wonder how she was able to see beauty in times of adversities. How she was able to smile amidst all the taunting she received from people. She's really tough."

"Mmm, it seems to me that she's an amazing woman. Base sa mga sinabi mo wala akong makitang mali sa kanya and yet you were able to hurt her, why?"

"Dahil pinaglaruan niya lang ako."

"She did what?"

"Joie will do everything for money. I found out na kaya siya nakikipaglapit ay dahil sa perang inialok sa kanya ni Tanya. I was in a relationship that time with Sofia and Tanya wanted to break us apart. That's what happened."

"If that's what happened, then you have all the right in the world para magalit. What you did is justifiable."

"I agree. Or is there any other reason as to why you feel the sudden guilt?"

"Nothing in particular Blue. I just realized that it's not entirely her fault. Na kaya nagawa niya iyon noon ay dahil gipit siya."

Silence filled the room. And once again, I feel like I traveled back time. Back to the time wherein Joie is a part of that fragment.

"This Joie you are talking about, is she pretty?"

"Yes, she is."

JOIE

"Hachooo!" Napabahin na naman ako at nakakaasar na kasi kanina pa ako bahin ng bahin. I had been busy working even if it's Saturday, kahit sabihin pang minor revisions lang. Lalo akong naging committed sa trabaho pagkatapos kong malaman ang rason kung bakit kailangang maisakatuparan ang naturang proyekto. I give myself a quota that in two weeks time ay tapos na ang revisions at ipi-present ko ulit kay Mr. Dela Cerna for second opinion bago i-finalize ang lahat at i-present sa board.

"Even if it would mean na makikita mo ulit si Jepoy?" I shook my head off pilit na inaalis ang mga imahe ni Jepoy sa diwa ko.