Hard To Imitate

No Weakness

"Fuck her, aND him. Did you know that Raven has a daughter by Blue. They are both dead beats. She didn't care enough to take care of her own daughter, and Blue doesn't care enough to stop fucking wit these Hoes." Some other girl says.

"Are you serious. Here she go thinking she's better than everybody, with a baby at 17. But I'm the hoe. That bitch probably not even Blues baby. Blue'll be mine, just wait." Taylor says.

I was holding back tears. Show no signs of weakness Rae. They want a reaction out of me. I can't lie tho. I feel some type of way about what they said. Even though it's not all particularly true, some parts are. And how did that girl know about Halo. Did Taylor call my seed a bitch. Who is the girl Taylor's talking to? No lie, I want to cry. I didn't neglect my baby but I didn't necessarily have her either. And truly Blue doesn't seem to want to let his hoes go. Wait, did she say he purposely brung me to the party to see him kissing that Hoe. I'm so confused. My life was really just beginning but I felt like it just ended. I wanted to go cry in a corner, but not before I found out who this bitch was that Taylor was talking to, and not before I beat that hoe ass, again!

"Seriously Tay. He has a whole baby." the girl says.

"So bitch, he doesn't care. He wouldn't have been with me last night. He told me that he's going to get DNA test on her today. He even told me he loves me, he wishes I had his baby." Taylor says, and I can't believe this shit. That can't be just a coincidence, can it?

"You two should really shut the fuck up. You know nothing about her situation. Taylor she already beat your ass and so did Rue. and DeDe you can't even talk. You had like 4 abortions cuz none of them niggas wanted to have a baby with you. Taylor didn't Blue make you abort ya baby when you told him So shut the fuck up, I bet he never said he wished you had his baby. Both your crazy. Blue is not getting no DNA test on that child, I bet her loves already. And he's probably a good father as well as Raven being a good mother. Yall should learn not to run ya mouth when you don't know the dirt people got on you. Raven is my friend, and she cool. She made a mistake that's she fixing, and you still hating. I'm leaving. Fuck Yall."  Toya walks out and smiles when she sees me. She hugs me then keeps it moving. She's used to be my best. friend. We lost touch when I went away.

I wanted to say something but I wasn't sure what to believe. Was Blue really getting a DNA test on Halo. Did Blue really get Taylor pregnant. But he came at me about me having secrets. Was he at her house last night, then tells me he loves me this morning. And DeDe is my cousin. It's a shame I can't remember her voice, but shes really talking shit about me. She was, WAS, suppose to be there for me. I confided in her her. Sometimes family ain't shit, water is thicker than blood, and you can't trust no one. Not even ya own flesh and blood. Smfh.

"So this is what yall do in Yall free time." I say surprisingly calm, as i  turn that corner facing them.

"Hey Cuz, I was just telling Taylor-" She starts but I wasn't trying hear that shit. I hate a liar, and she was about to lie straight to my face. I don't give a finuckkk.

"Keep it. I heard everything. I'm glad to know that still I'm the topic of discussion." I say.

That's good Rae, no weakness.

"I don't give a fuck that you heard wear ya man was at last night." Taylor says. I chuckle to keep from bashing this bitch face in the wall, again. I see the scar from the last time I did it.

"See, I must've bashed your head a little too hard the first time, ya facts not right." I say.

"Come on, let's just drop it." DeDe says.

"Don't want to drop it now, you brung it up. You supposed to be family, but you telling my business to hoes. You know what fuck it." I was done. I didn't take the fact that they were trying to play me too kindly, and now I was pissed. I don't even remember what I did but Taylor was in the floor next to DeDe, both Bleeding. I realized I cut them both. I didn't realize I had my knife with me until I used that mafucka. I just left them there. No signs pointed to me so I kept it moving. They asked for it.

I left school early. I had a lot on my mind, and not sure how to let it all out. I drive to the gun range. I come here to practice my shooting, and it's a good stress reliever.

Afterwards, nothing changed. I still felt like I needed answers. I got in my white range rover, and smoked a Dutch. That was somewhat helpful, but not much. I cried to myself. I had to do it now because later wasn't an option. I can't show weaknesses.

I left out the parking lot. I had to get back on the highway. I started driving real fast. I can't believe what my life has turned to. I slowed down some just at the speed limit. I was crying and wiping my eyes, next thing...

I felt at peace all of a sudden.

No worries suddenly.