I saw a question on Tumblr the other day that made me stop and think.
"If you could go anywhere in the world right now, would it be to a 'where' or to a 'who'?"
I realized, I'd go multiple places, multiple memories.
I'd go to Jarvis School, to the theatre where I met her for the first time.
I'd relive that moment, when our friend introduced us.
I'd look into her blue eyes again, swirling like the ocean tide.
I'd go to my bedroom, where we made love the first and only time.
I'd think about how I felt that night, with her lying beneath me.
I'd tangle my hands in her hair again, and hold her close.
I'd go to her aunt's house, where we technically had our first and only date.
I'd sing to her like I did that day, and she'd tell me once again that she loved me.
I'd cuddle with her once more as we watched the fireworks over the lake.
I'd go to her house, where I loved to be.
I'd remember how her mother used to call me her own, how her siblings did the same.
I'd eat the pancakes her father made until I was fully stuffed, like I did that Sunday.
I'd go back to her birthday party at her grandmother's house.
I'd remember how much she smiled as she opened her presents, as she saw her cake.
I'd remind myself how she held me that day because I had a headache.
I'd go to the bus garage, and sit in the back seat of bus #68.
I'd remember how she used to hold me as we rode to or away from school.
I'd remember what it was like to hear her tell me she loved me, that I still had a chance.
I'd go to Central Valley Academy, where I first saw her kiss another girl.
I'd remind myself what that felt like, why I attempted suicide that night.
I'd think about how much she hurt me, but that she still promised she loved me unconditionally.
I'd go to her current boyfriend's house, my former best friend.
I'd ask him why he would ruin our friendship, why he hated me now.
I'd tell him that I hope they are happy.
I'd go to her current house, and I'd confront her.
I'd ask her why she lied to me about if she loved me, why she would play me like that.
I'd kiss her good-bye one last time. Then, finally, I would move on.
I wouldn't go to a 'where' or a 'who'.
Neither of those have any meaning to me anymore.
I would go to a 'when'.
