Awkward [Jargot]

My Awkward Life

"Mostly rock," I respond. She slowly nods her head as she listens.

"Awesome!  That's all I listen to," she says eagerly. I've found the love of my life, people!

"Good to hear, so, you're an actress?"  I ask, although I know the answer as I've done my research and have stalk...I mean...found out important information about her before the date.  What? When a woman who is that hot swipes right on your profile, you have to make sure she isn't a robot!

"Yeah, I've played characters in soaps down under in Australia.  Then I moved up here to film in Hollywood."

"Ah, Australia, so that's where that beautiful accent comes from," I glance across the table to see her cheeks flush a crimson red and a smile spreads across her face.

"Thank you!"

Jared, you just made her blush! You, my man, are a legend! Legends don't talk to their conscience, dude. How would you even know that?

"Of course. So, Margot, I actually am an actor as well," well that better impress her.

"Yes! I've seen a few of your movies. You're a terrific actor," she sounds genuine, something I'm not that used to hearing with other women.

"Really? I'm glad you think so, I love what I do."

"Well, that's always important. So, Mr. I'm-in-a-band-and-I-act, what else do you do?" she asks with a grin, probably thinking that I'm bragging myself up. 

"Now that you've asked, I also am a director," I say in a matter-of-fact like tone. She looks impressed. I've never had a woman impressed by me before.  Other than my mom, of course.

"Is there anything you can't do?" she asks. Her crystal blue eyes are lit up and are attentive to me. I get lost for a second before piping in with my response.

"Uh, um, uh," way to go, Jared! Going to use that in your Oscar speech? That's a good one!  Not.

She flashes me that incredible smile again and is amused by my embarrassment. I'd make a fool out of my self a million more times if I could see her smile like that again.

She raises her eyebrow slightly, indicating that she wants a definite answer to her question. 

"Sorry, I just can't believe I've made it this far!"

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?! Oh, great, now she's going to hate me!  Why are you such an idiot, Jared?!

"What do you mean?" her sexy accent shining through.

"I, um, didn't think that this date would turn out as well as it is," did I really say that out loud?

She bites her lip in order to refrain from laughing. I guess she did hear me.  Kill me now.

"Sorry, I'm not good with dates."

Her gentle hand reaches out and rests on top of mine. She gives me a look of sympathy.

"Listen, I like you, I think you're funny. Yes, you're a bit awkward, but you're cute in a strange sort of way," she beams that smile that stops my heart from beating once again.

She likes me? She, Margot Robbie, likes me?   I swivel around in my seat to see if there is some six foot five hunk standing behind me, but there isn't. I turn back and face the golden goddess yet again. 

"Me?" I gulp, hoping she hasn't changed her mind yet.

Before she can react, a waitress comes by and sets down two tall glasses of water. She has two menus tucked under her arm, and pulls out one and hands it over to Margot. I reach out to grab the other one from the waitress and accidentally knock over, not one, but BOTH of the water glasses on Margot.   Absolutely soaking her expensive looking dress and heels. 

I cover my mouth in a state of shock, as she lets out a yelp. I spring out of my seat with a napkin in attempt to fix my stupid, clumsy accident. She gets out of her chair and bends down to wipe off her heels. I awkwardly dab at her clothes with the napkin. She gives me a weird look, so I stop doing that. I drop the napkin and reach over to pick it up, and bump into her head in the process. She clutches the back of her head and curses under her breath.

"I-I-I'm," I stumble and can't find any word in the English vocabulary to apologize properly.

She gets up from the floor and smooths herself out. 

"I'm going to go," she darts over to her purse, clenches it and walks out of the small café.  Everyone is staring at me as I sit cross legged on the floor in a puddle of ice water.

"What?" I call out loudly to everyone staring.  "Hasn't anyone heard of the Ice Bucket Challenge?"

So, I know what you're thinking, what the hell is wrong with this guy? I don't know. I go on a date with literally the hottest woman I've ever seen in my entire life and mess it up. And the craziest part about this whole thing (also known as my life) is that my brother, Shannon, has ALL of the luck with the ladies. He's funny, charming, and a good-looking dude. Women flock to him like they do to Ryan Gosling. They call him the "Shanimal".  Don't ask.   How is he related to me? Honey, I'm still looking for the answer.

This is me, and welcome to my awkward life.