Diary of an 18 year old girl.

My life.

(WARNING, THIS MAY HAVE A BIT OF GORE. AND DO NOT COMMENT AT ALL.)

Starting from April 1st, 2010, to today, I have been feeling hate get stronger and stronger. I cannot comprehend this kind of pain and hate. I was taken to the child care, because the doctors refuse to give me an actual doctor, and I was tested for depression. My doctor said that I don't have it, but only 'depressional episodes' that seem to tick me off more than the bitch on my ass that's trying to get my girlfriend and I apart. I would try to be older than my body, but I end up having the mind of a child in late childhood. People say that I'm fine, but I'm not. People say that I'm a hypochondriac. I just want myself to be better than it was years ago. I can't feel pain anymore, but only the hate and guilt of my own self onto me. I have tried so many times to grab a razor and cut my arms off, but the image of my girlfriend in my head appears and I start to back off from the blade. I start crying and I can't stop for anything. I barely even have friends that can help me through this shit. I can't even roleplay anymore. AND I LOVE ROLEPLAYING WITH NEW PEOPLE. But I just can't do this.

(Thanks for reading if you did.)