“Can I see?”
“Fuck off.”
“I'll take that as a yes.”
Before I can protest, he's popped his head into the little room. I feel my face flush at his scrutinising gaze, looking me up and down in this stupid sack of material hanging off of me. As the grin creeps onto his face, it's replaced by anger. I push him out, shoving my palm hard against his cheek to force him backwards.
“You're an arsehole! I told you no!”
“Ah, but I would have missed out!”
“I hate you!”
“No you don't.”
I huff angrily, forcing the pathetic scrap of rubbish off of my body and changing back into my own clothes. Fuck this. If I have to wear something as stupid as that, then I don't want to go. They can all get stuffed. I'm not publicly humiliating myself for the sake of some pathetic quacks that want to analyse my progress...
“Aww, I'm sorry, poppet. I didn't mean to piss you off.”
“Yes you did.”
“Okay. I did. But I'm sorry. I won't do it again.”
I push past him, determined to leave this stupid shop for good. I don't care what kind of trouble I'll get into. I just want to go home and sit in my room. On my own. Away from all kinds of judging eyes...
“Alex, come on...”
“Fuck off, Mark.”
“There's no need to go. I promise I won't tease you again.”
“I told you to fuck off.”
“How can I make it up to you?”
“You can't. Just fuck off.”
“What cup size d'you think I am?”
That makes me halt in my tracks. What the fuck did he just say? I slowly turn around, seeing a look of seriousness on his face. I can't have heard what I thought I just did...
“Sorry?” I manage to force out eventually.
He grabs a bra from the stand next to him, holding it in front of his chest. The fact that he's doing that is strange enough. But the fact that it's possibly the largest bra I've ever seen, with frills and bows all over it, makes it all the weirder. What am I seeing?!
“You think this is too big?” he asks, a false innocence in his voice.
“What...”
“I think I could carry this off, you know. Not too many stares as I walk down the street in this beauty. And it's totally my colour too. If I had any hair, the orange and pink would just go together perfectly. Don't you think?”
I blink in confusion at him. I'm not really sure what's going on here. Why is he holding that thing against him like that? He can't be serious...And then I see that smile creep onto his face again. That twinkle in his eye. And I know that he's just trying to make me feel better. I smirk at him.
“You're going to wear those with that pair of shorts we saw earlier?” I ask. They weren't shorts. They were underwear in the disguise of shorts. I nearly died...
“Oh yeah, totally! I can totally rock the 'beach babe' look! People won't get enough of this fine body of mine!”
“Total babe magnet, huh?”
“Mm! You'll be fighting them off me! Watch out, ladies! Mark Sheehan is here to steal the show!”
I can't help but laugh at that. He's an idiot. But he's my idiot. And I couldn't do this thing called 'life' without him...
Shopping Around
Start from the beginning
