Deep Desires (Zayn Malik)

5

"Then what is it?" Zayn asks nicely while laying back on his fold out couch bed.

"You heard them, I had to much to handle. I wasn't going to marry that, that, that scum!" I yell my anger out and I immediately apologize for yelling at him.

"Calm down." He remarks and I slow my breathing down to a normal tempo. My mother had a radio station tell people how crazy I am, she's trying to guilt me into coming back and so far she's winning. I can't stop thinking about how guilty I feel for leaving my family, my little brothers or my best friend. My father wasn't too bad, he just worked with the help in the fields, and the one I miss the most is Margaret.

I know she misses me too because she was my mother in my mind, mother had always been over at friends homes or at interviews for the paper when I was little. I'd bring home my superior science project and the only one to acknowledge my work was Margaret, and in which had taken me days to do.

"Sleep it off, your going to feel guilt for a while, I feel it too." Zayn tries to make me feel better but sleep is what I need. I pull the covers over my body and look at the ceiling.

"What are you guilty about?" I ask and try to get the focus off of myself.

"Why wouldn't I be? I left my mother when my father is supposed to be stationed in Iraq." I look over at him and he too is laying under the covers.

"I'm sorry. Let's just sleep, and are you sure you want to sleep over there? The bed might be more comfortable and I don't mind the couch." I tell him while pulling the covers off and make my way up.

"Lay down, I'm fine with the couch and we both need sleep more than anything." He says and I don't take a second try at arguing with him, I'm to weak to do that.

______

"Honey! Get down here the new shoes from Tougaloo just arrived!" Mother yells from the lower level of the house, this upcoming Friday is my long awaited fifth grade dance recital and I'm ready to win.

"They're beautiful!" I coo to mother as I lace my new points. I've been waiting for so long to finally have the same shoes as the other girls.

"Baby I'm glad you like them, they cost a whole damn fortune. But I'll do anything to make my doll happy, remember that." She gives me a hug and I squeeze her tight before twirling around on the wooden floor.

"She's getting so good, isn't she Beau?" Mother asks Beau when he walks into the kitchen and grabs a glass of tea.

"Sure." He raises his brows and I cross my arms at him. "Your getting so well." He muttees sarcastically and takes a bite out of the cake slices on the table.

"Beau you are just jealous of your sister's talents." Mother squeals and grabs a cigarette from her pack.

"Sure." Beau mouths when he exits the room.

"Mother, Beau seems sad." I say while un-tying the shoes. "Maybe we should get him something too."

"No, you get your presents and he gets his." She lights the smoke and takes a long drag before continuing. "You're my only girl and I'm going to spoil you rotten. Beau and Marcus get a lot more than you think, just from your father instead of myself."

"I guess your right."

"I know I am darlin', are you ready for your recital?" I nod and give her a hug.

"I've been ready for weeks now!" I grin widely. "Now mother, put out the cigarette when you're inside, your hairs going to catch on fire with the amount of spray that you use."