I hear muffled sounds.
Am I dead?
I feel too weak to even open my eyes. So I just listen.
I hear a mans voice and a women's
The words are a bit clearer now.
"I'm sorry ma'am. But it seems to me that this was supposed to be a suicide attempt"
oh.. supposed to?
Crap.
"What? Why would she do something like this? Nothing makes sense. I'm her Mother. And I didn't realize..?"
Mom.
Her voice is shaky. She had been crying.
"Unfortunately. We also found cuts along her arms and thighs...they could have been from the fall but I'm not so sure"
Shit
I try to shift my position but everything hurts. They stop talking. I guess they're staring at me
I try to open my eyes. They feel heavy but I try anyways. I see a white room.
I turn my head to see my mom. Her eyes puffy and red. I hate seeing her like this.
It's all your fault
She's sad because of you
All you do is bring her stress and pain
You can't do anything right
You couldn't even kill yourself correctly
Great to know the voices haven't left. Just amazing.
"Oh honey. Don't move okay? Your okay your oka-" her sobs cut her off.
No don't cry please don't cry please.
I look up at the ceiling.
Why did I fail? Why didn't I die?
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An eternity later. I am able to speak. But I prefer not to at the moment.
"Doctor says your okay. A few broken bones and you hit your head and...um...but not too bad. You'll be out of this hospital in a few months."
I take all this in. I should have landed head first.
But I could tell she was hiding something but I ignored it.
"But the thing is... once you can get out of here, we will have to send you into some mental hospital. Sounds scary and creepy I know, but it's just so you can get better and so you won't try to....do that again."
Wait what?
I want to ask her where am I going. But I can't bring myself to speak. She will hear my voice again. When she wasn't supposed to. I'm supposed to be dead. But I'm not.
Everything will change. Nothing will be the same. I'll be here for 3 months and to some other mental place for who knows how long.
It would have been easier if I just flew
I am honestly scared shitless.
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The rest of the days passed rather quickly. Just me and my thoughts.
I would look out the window often. Watching the sun shine through a little space in the curtains. Then the warmth on my skin and it landed on me.
I didn't talk much. Nurses would come and go. They made my mom leave so that she can get some rest. Apparently, she hasn't left since she got the call that I was in the hospital.
This makes me rather sad. Knowing I was going to leave her. She would be crying in pain for days. But it felt like the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do....well it was.
They left me alone in this hospital room very often. And for that I was grateful. Didn't want anyone here anyways. I don't want to feel the need to respond to them or to have a conversation.
Besides, I liked being alone and in silence. Well sometimes.
I just hope it can all be over soon. I just really don't want to be here.
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YOU ARE READING
Isle Of Flightless Birds
Fanfiction•I will fly with no hope no fear• Athena just wanted to end it all. So she tried...but failed. Now she is in a mental hospital. She hates the idea of it all but when she meets a broken boy, her idea of it might change.
