RENEGADE // c.t.h

R E N E G A D E (FOUR):

Long sigh escaped my lips as I stood up,  feeling the tears well up on my eyes.  I ran towards the car,  ignoring him calling my name million times. 

"Kath." he spoke, in a calm tone but his breathing was fast. 

"what's your problem?" he asked as tears began to fall on my cheeks which I tried to blink away but didn't worked. 

"i-its my..."

"I know." he said as he pulled something from his pocket,  he smiled and embraced me tight. 

"Happy 18th birthday Katherine Psyche Wallace.  I'm so sorry that I don't get you a very beautiful gift,  but hope that this will do.  And to let you know,  I prepared for this moment a million times now. And I just wanna see you smile and stop crying." he said and opened the box,  it was the very cliche necklace with our pictures inside it. 

But I thought he was done. Not yet. 

He knelt on my side, started singing Your Call by Secondhand Serenade.

"And I was born to tell you I love you

And I am torn to do what I have to

To make you mine

Stay with me tonight." he sang with an incredibly beautiful voice,  his eyes were so sincere and in love. I was there,  tears began streaming down my eyes and completely awestruck by what was happening. 

Is he going to ask me to be his girlfriend?  I hope not. 

"I know that you don't really like me Kath.  But I chose to hear it from you. I need to hear it from you so I can wake up from my greatest make believe.  So I can stop falling hard for you." he stopped and laughed,  tears fell down on his eyes. 

"it's not like that L-lex..." i cried,  he just smiled and shook his head.  His face began to be red and those hurt me too.  He was crying and hurt because of me. 

"I already told you.  I prepared myself for this thing.  Rejection.  But man. I'm also human right? I am hurt. I am hurt by the fact that the woman I love can't love me back.  That the woman I love just sees me as a friend. Am I not enough?  Am I not lovable? Am I not your type? Tell me.... Tell me..." he sobbed even harder. 

"No Alex. I love you. But as you said it, I love you as my best friend.  I don't want to lose you just because I don't see things as far as what you see.  I don't want to throw our biggest commitment and lose you, the one who actually believes in me." I pulled him in to a hug.  "I'm sorry for being this dramatic for your 18th birthday babe." he chuckled. 

"still going with that pet name?" I laughed, joining him in the awkward silence that fell in to us. 

"Now, can we proceed on doing that 18th Roses thing?" he asked and I shook my head no again. "What?  Even this one?" he whined,  I nodded.

"your friends are waiting for us, idiot!" I said as I smacked his shoulder, he nodded and wiped the tears away.  "besides because you made me cry,  I'm going to eat the whole tub of Ice Cream." I giggled.

"Wait! You're not the only one!" he said, pulling the grocery bag near him. 

"Okay."